She’s headed away

She’s headed out tomorrow. Last night we had a lovely time together both out in town and then at home. We had excellent together time and excellent playtime and we both had a lovely night.

Tonight we had a nice dinner (nothing spectaular, but was at home and tasty) and I know that I was feeling multiple things. Well, I’m a little sad because it’s February 1st and I’m usually sad on this day, but it doesn’t permeate my soul as deeply as it once did. And I’m stressed that she’s leaving. I also have feelings of… longing? Sadness? Loss? No.. none of those words. But I do feel like last night was some awesome play and I don’t think we give ourselves enough time to play in that way. And I miss it after we have it because I know it’ll be a while before we go there again. Sure, we live a lifestyle of 24/7 – which we both love – but the last night play – well, I’ll miss it before it comes around again. And maybe that makes me selfish. But aren’t we always reading things and then saying things that “we should play more often” and “live your life out loud” and “don’t be afraid to be a bitch to me like that more often… ” Okay, so that last one is all me and totally selfish. But I know that we had a good time with it, like we always do and now I miss it because I know we won’t do so again until she’s back home – another week from now.

And then work calls and there’s a problem, so I have to fix that. And that raises my tension. And then I can’t get back to sleep mode because I’m wired. Damn it. And I can’t even lay in bed and masturbate because it just doesn’t “feel right” to stroke myself in the bed next to her like that… And that’s likely to be one of my last opportunities for a while, because she’s locking up her cock tomorrow morning.

So, I’m dealing with some loss all around. My February 1st loss, my loss of my partner for a week, loss of play for a week or so… yeah, that seems to be it. And work hitting me in the face while I’m trying to deal. And it all kinda sucks.

But I’m happy to have written this down – so I can realize that what I’m feeling is a ton of loss. It’s all first world problem shit, I know. But it still is stressing me. I remain in a blessed life. This I know.

Small moments

Sometimes it’s a small moment that takes place between her and I. One recent time was a family event at the hotel. Renting out a couple hotel rooms, ordering pizza and throwing the kids in the pool is a great way to get through a cold spell in Maine, so that’s what we did.

Food, cocktails, snacks and sodas for everyone up in the rooms, then time to change and head down to the pool. She and I went into one of the bathrooms in the suite and she stopped me after I had stripped off my pants and while she was also naked.

“Lay down” I lay on the floor. “Flat, head down” she clarified. I did so.

She stood over me, facing the locked door and let go a slow trickle. She quickly zeroed in on my mouth and it began to fill.

“Swallow” she said. I tried to keep up, swallowing and filling and swallowing as she continued to fill my mouth with her piss.

“That’s so fucking hot” she smiled as she spoke. My view was of her beautiful pussy and ass hovering over me, but her view was of watching in the mirror on the door – the trickle flowing into my mouth, my quick swallows and some of the splattering of piss onto my face. She had a great view and was very pleased. The sound of her piss sounded so loud. Water falling into a pool – trickling into a larger pocket of water – that sound, loud, echoing around the room. Surely anyone outside would be able to tell… but she just smiled.

She was done, it was not all she had, but it was enough to put me in my place. She finished up on the toilet and then squatted over me so I could clean her pussy of any stray drops.

“That was hot. The sounds, the look of your locked up cock. My piss filling your mouth. It makes me horny. But you’re locked up, aren’t you?” I nodded. “Pretty useless, pup. Pretty useless… ” she smiled and touched my chin.

“Get dressed, let’s go.”

We left the bathroom and continued on the rest of our evening with the family. We both agreed a good time was had by all and we giggled on the way home about our little escape into the bathroom, right under their noses, but still behind locked doors.

About that new device

That new device was small. Even she remarked on how small it was. She also teased me with it this morning when I knelt beside the bed waiting for my erection to subside. “…because your cock is in pain, locked up in such a tiny cage?”

To its credit (I’ll credit the cage), I only had to kneel beside the bed once during my slumber. But, I am sure that I was fully erect – just with my dick wearing a metal hat and most of my erection stuffed into my body.

I don’t believe that smaller chastity devices prevent erections on me. I’m willing to give it another shot, but not with this cage and how it stands now. I know how my skin feels when it’s been in contact with metal like this – and I think this cage may simply be too cheap and causing a reaction. So that means I need it powder coated. It needs attention that I cannot give it right now. And so I am released from that cage and am free, but I know I’ll be locked while she’s away late this week. We just have to decide which cage I’m locked in.

So this one, pretty good, though small. Cheap metal, like most of them. Good though. It was interesting and I look forward to trying it again. Once I can find a place to powder coat this.

Another short review

This time we’re looking at this new device, also picked up from China, as a test device. It’s shorter. Much shorter. And I have wanted to try a short device because I have heard good things, but unsure I believe them. So, I’m jumping on the short CB bandwagon and giving it a shot.

First observation is that this is narrow. Very small. I worked on getting my penis into the end of the device with a chopstick to help poke through the cage, but still could not coax it to fill to the end of the device. It’s just too narrow so far. We’ll see what happens when my cock gets harder and has to expand to somewhere – I suspect I may find the head of my cock pressing at the end of the cage.

I’m a little fearful that I could get erection stuck in this one since it is so small. Not worried about the a-ring, but I am worried about the cage.

I’m also not sure the metal is clean enough for my skin – remember, nickel allergy. There could be a reaction starting, but I’ll give it the day before I make the call on that.

More to come!

The statistics of 2017

Statistics wonks will love this one…

I keep track of how often I’m allowed to ejaculate, how long I am locked and how often I am plugged. The latter statistic is a new one, so the data isn’t comparable to any other year. I was plugged just over 50 hours last year.

I use a google calendar to keep it and track keywords. I later use a google calendar calculation plugin to add up the time. If there are typos in my recording things, they’ll get missed.

What I notice in these statistics is that while I’m locked far longer, I am having more ejaculations than ever before. Every single one is supervised. I can’t remember the last time I had one without a woman present.

I also realize that, compared to some, we don’t keep me locked up a lot and I am allowed far more ejaculations than many other submissive men, but this is our kinky life and we’re having a ball living it. I hope you all are having as much fun as we are!

I also know that Madame may very well be shaking her head at me, wondering how I can write about a topic like this and make it sexy and I know that sexy is in the eye of the beholder – not necessarily the keyholder. To me, this kind of info is sexy and I know some other locked men are happy to read it. It’s an insight into our world and how we live it. And the fact that you, my lovely Mistress, are holding my key right now is damn sexy too. Love you.


Statistics are sexy

Statistics are sexy

 

 

The envelope please

Life calls me away from my owner and home and into some full time parenting, so I’m away for a couple days. Since we’ve been experimenting with a new device for enforcing my chastity, I did not feel comfortable leaving without some way to escape the device should there be a problem. After all, some chastity devices take a good length of time before they reveal their problems. So, I left two of the keys with Madame and we sealed up one in the envelope which we beautifully decorated for me. I hope not to use it, but there will be no mistaking it if I do!

The envelope holding the key to her property

The envelope holding the key to her property

I like these types of rituals. My putting the key in an envelope, her signing it. It may seem like trivial housekeeping, but every time we do something like this it underscores her ownership of me. “Yes, put the key in an envelope… ” she orders. And yes, she puts pen to paper, she decorates it. She draws out the process. She could have just signed a name and been done, but she took the time to decorate, to get things the way she wanted while I stood there and watched. I know she did it deliberately and I love it. And yes, my cock swelled in the cage while she did it.

Sometimes these little things in our D/s life are very powerful and far beyond what anyone would think of them were they to look from the outside, but we know. She knows. And she makes sure I know.

 

He took her out

The following is fiction started from IRL events…

It’s Friday. We both ended up coming home early for reasons, but around 6:30 he came by to take her out to a show. The decision was made to have a nibble here at the house before they went out to the show.

He showed up, greeted, I made him a drink. I made her a drink. Food on the table, they nibbled, I stayed in, they went off to the show.

(And hey, let’s put this out there, we are about the time where fact turns to fiction – this friend, there’s no way she’d do anything with, but it doesn’t mean I can’t fantasize… And hey Chloe, I know, even the thought of ‘going there’ with him is repugnant to us both)

I spent some time working on other things for the evening, but they headed out to the show.

Around midnight the text came in “Hotel tonight. See you tomorrow… ”

I met up again with her the next day in the afternoon, after they got back from the show and the stay over.

“It was just too late, pup. I couldn’t make it back” she explained. I nodded. “And he felt so good. His rubbing against me… the dancing… I felt him.”

With me locked up, he found an itch to scratch with her.


“He’s locked up again.” She told him.

“I’m sure he is.”

“I can make you happy tonight”

She knew he could. They checked into the hotel, a gentle buzz around their minds after the show. They came together, coupling in their gently buzzed brains and he pushed her down to the bed. She disrobed quickly, he pushed down his pants, she opened up and took him in deeply. It was quick, it was intense. He plunged deeply. She groaned, she writhed, she came hard, multiple times. She granted him allowance and he finished his work. They fell to sleep soon after.


 

The next morning, she returned late, tired, her hair a mess, her overnight bag a mess too. She went straight back to bed after a hug and insisted I come join her.

“Pup, clean me. I’m tired and dirty.”

I leaned in and smelled her, she was. “Both holes, pup.”

I leaned in and smelled her, she was well used. And she was dirty. I smelled him on her. And I knew I was cleaning him from her. My cock swelled in my cage as I licked. I dove in, cleaned her from stem to stern and she fell asleep for a late morning nap. My cock throbbed, she snored.

I went back to my morning chores while she snoozed. I realized as I poured my second cup of coffee that she had cuckolded me again last night, taking him to bed with her and letting him spill his seed into her. And here I was cleaning her filthy pussy with my tongue as my locked cock throbbed.

This was just another step in her dominance of me.

New chastity device from China – mini review

Our existing primary chastity device is a Steelworxx.de Steelheart 2. It’s custom fit and fits me very well, though some would contend that having it so large is antithetical to how they think a chastity device should fit. It’s pretty large for a tube device. I had originally ordered it based on measurements I had from an authentic CB-3000 I had used for well over a year. The Steelheart is also powder coated, as I have a metal allergy.

I also have dabbled in some plastic devices lately, purchasing two cheap Chinese knock offs this past summer, one of which I used for a road trip vacation with my kids. There were magnetometers expected (and almost met, but the St Louis arch museum was not worth the wait (and paled in comparison to a total solar eclipse)).

So, like many, I headed over to DHGate and perused the selection. I selected two metal “open cage” captive ball devices on New Year’s Day and received them last night. This is the model I grabbed first and took the a-ring out of the package. Madame had already seen both of the devices and was happy to see I was working on new, hopefully more useful, chastity solutions for us. I put the a-ring on and wore it through most of my sleeping but at some point in the night I removed the a-ring and set it on the nightstand. I’m not sure why or when, but I did take it off. This morning as I dressed for work I put it on and tried to use our existing lock – but it did not fit. Taking the China supplied lock into the hole on the a-ring post – it also would not fit through properly. I could lock it sideways, but that’s just plain stupid. So I worked at it and within 30 seconds I was able to convince the post that the lock was going to fit AND lay properly. Of course, that tells me the metal of the post is cheap. Really cheap. I don’t expect that the cheap lock is any hardened steel, but it was certainly harder than the post steel, so that raises a concern. I suspect that the post hole will wear out within a year of daily use, just given the movement that I know happens in such a device.

Will China rule our cocks? No, but women might get more control with help from China.

Will China rule our cocks? No, but women might get more control with help from China.

I locked myself up, lubed up the a-ring with some Gold Bond cream and also applied some to the underside of my cock to help let my cock slide down into the tube.

Some three hours after I locked up, Madame asked me how it was feeling, which led me here to write about it.

It feels good. The a-ring is a little bit tighter (45mm) than my Steelworxx device, so I am noticing that. (Having worn the a-ring through multiple erections and even some masturbation, I am not worried that it’s TOO small). The rest, I am not noticing. I can even head into the office bathroom and pee standing up, assuming I wrangle my cock to point forward in the cage before peeing. Fortunately, our offices have only single occupancy restrooms, so I have privacy on all potty breaks.

So far, 4 hours or so in, it feels good. Good fit, decent comfort, though the a-ring is questionable. So far, no signs of allergic reaction from either the a-ring or the cage portion.


Now, later in the day I come back for more reporting, because everybody wants to know about the state of my cock. Yes, MY COCK IS THAT IMPORTANT! (Heh…. ) Okay, I’ve had dinner and a couple drinks, so I’m feeling well, after a busy enough day.

I feel like I should have ordered the 50mm ring.

Spent multiple times in the bathroom, mostly okay, but I hit one point at work today where I went full on sprinkler. What is up with THAT? Jeezum.

The device is good. The difference for me is being able to touch my cock – to be able to see it – and yet it is caged. I can’t REALLY touch it well, but I can touch it, aim it for peeing, know it is there, but it’s caged. This will be different for me. My previous CBs have been disappearing cock CBs  – where I get to forget I even have a cock while it’s locked. This is fundamentally different.


Why another horizontal line? More hours have passed since I wrote. It’s now the next day and this morning I remain locked as Madame had no desire to unlock me and release her cock.

Last night went well. The CB was comfortable but nocturnal erections did awaken me several times. Madame was happy to see me kneeling at the side of the bed waiting for an erection to subside. She missed a couple other instances of that.

It was a comfortable night otherwise, much like the steelworxx CB. No allergic reaction is yet apparent. I may be in contact with the lock too much, however, which is made of shitty brass, so that could be an issue. The lock and the post hole also proves to be a terrible match and I had to wrench the lock in different directions to make the lock play nice this morning as I got dressed. I remain suspicious of the longevity of the post. I also have almost no faith in the lock. I may have to look for different locks.

But now, what about the difference of this CB and the other? What’s this great big mental change I’ve alluded to? The Steelheart 2 makes my cock disappear. That is a definitive function of the solid steel tube. I am emasculated by it in a different way than I am in this one.

In the new one, it’s a cage. There’s my cock. It’s there. I can see it. But I can’t stroke it. I can’t fuck. I can’t feel my hand wrap around it. I can’t feel a pussy slide onto it. I can’t feel my Mistress’ hand clutching it as we sleep.

I can feel fingers partly, but there’s no grabbing of the cock. I’m no less locked up, but this is different. My cock is caged. In the past – it’s just been gone. I didn’t expect this kind of feeling to be the most overwhelming part of the new device, but it is.

I hope that Madame will use this to her advantage. She always does talk beautifully dirty words to me that will make me head swim and cock swell. I hope she’ll use this change in my imprisonment to her advantage in that talk (and yes, I realize this is selfish of me, I know).

Let’s see how the rest of this lockup continues. I still have a concern for allergic reaction, so I’ll petition Madame to allow me a key nearby. I am about to spend a few days away from her, so I know I’ll have a lockup, but we’ll see which device I am in.

Overall, I like this device. And I like what it does to my mindset. And I like how Mistress enjoys seeing her cock locked up. It’s different for her as well.

Ouch – not the good kind

All this flurry of writing (some 17k words in 4 days) have taken a toll on my arms. Between the work I do at work and the writing I do at home, I had to leave work early today because my arm just would not reach up to the keyboard. Yeah, this is not a great thing. But, at the least, I know what it is from and how to make it better.

Most of a weekend off (work and writing) should help the situation, but we’ll see how I do on the longer term. I do know one issue was writing at home without “the magic pillow” which helps put my hands/wrists/arms at a proper position.

This may not be a sexy post, but the 17k words I’ve written certainly have their sexy moments! I’m hoping that I can find a competent editor in the near future who will look it over and see whether it’s worth any of its purported erotic salt.

Hope all is well in your world, folks. Setting up for a good weekend ahead! Woohoo!

Who are you working for?

I was given five writing assignments from a lovely woman and had a deadline looming. I’d written four, not always hitting each deadline accurately and had one more to finish. For that final assignment I turned to a story idea that has been rolling around in my head for years. Over the holidays I found some inspiration to further the story from my vanilla world. A roommate reminded me of a vanilla event in our world during the holidays years ago. Chloe and I had already taken that event into fantasy land, but it was very isolated. Then I combined that real life and fantasy combination with some current events and mashed those all in together with yet another storyline…  I wrote the first chapter of a work of fiction that would only be novel sized. The lovely woman who assigned me writing work loved it. Another person I shared it with loved it.

So I found myself attached to the story and my outline was fleshing out nicely, so I continued with the story into the second chapter. And that’s where we were last night.

Both of us in bed, she was tired, both from work, the cold and her early mornings. We watched an episode of one of her favorite shows but I lay in bed on my computer writing furiously.

“Who are you working for?” she asked.

I paused. “I don’t know.” I thought about it for a moment, “I think… me.”

And this was odd for me. I do a lot for others (not trying to toot my own horn, I hope it doesn’t sound like I am). And here I was not writing for an assignment, not writing for my Mistress, but perhaps, just writing for me. And I smiled inside, thinking that I was doing a good thing for myself.

I want to continue the story, I think it has some legs and could be a good novel, though it’s not entirely outlined. I am pretty sure I know where it ends, but I am not sure how it gets there. And that’s part of the fun. And even not knowing the end can be fun also (I’m looking at you George RR Martin!).

Self care is important. And this story coming to page is good self care. I’m enjoying seeing where this story goes. I hope, eventually, I’ll be able to share it here and you’ll get to see it go somewhere as well.

Anybody know a someone willing to edit FLR erotica?