Last night, there were a few things that I needed to do before I could go to bed, but Madame had promptly rolled over to her side of the bed and was moving toward sleep before I was ready.
I did the dishes in the sink, whether or not they were ours. Then I pulled the laundry from the basement and proceeded to fold it. Then I put the clean dishes away, as Madame doesn’t like a full drainboard when she wakes up. I also prepped the coffee machine in there somewhere, so Madame had to simply press the button when she woke.
She did make some inquiry to me in which I responded I was just “doing the things” – and she knew that I was folding laundry, but she was likely in the dark about the other things I was doing. Sometimes I do those things after I pet her to sleep, but with her coughing and the cold, I wasn’t sure when she’d get to sleep, thus when I’d get a chance to work on them.
Sometimes I struggle with this side of service. And I think it’s related to how I desire feedback in many of the things I do. With my work with kink events, work in community volunteering, the day job and in my service to Mistress, I do need positive feedback. I know that. I can work a good long 16 hour shift setting up kink camp, but if someone there doesn’t acknowledge me specifically in some way and my work, I can tend to get cranky. And at work, if I help someone with their project and I don’t get my proper credit (I do work in an industry where credits are similar to movie credits – it might not be much, but they’re expected) I get cranky over that. And when I’ve been working to better our home and serving Madame, I absolutely crave and love her acknowledging my work. Even if it’s just a scratch behind the ears while she tells me that she noticed I did X, Y or Z – that goes a long long way.
But I’m not sure last night’s tepidness over doing the chores was a credit issue or whether it was just a kind of malaise. I’m stuck thinking about what it was. I could dismiss it as just being something related to our both being sick. That might be perfectly valid. We’ve been sick, not sleeping well and we’re tired. She has been working extra hard at the office and really just wants a couple days off. She is in a place I was at months ago, wherein I put in several very long and underappreciated weeks. I also expect that, sometime when I do get to see her, I’ll hear from her that she appreciated the work I did. She’s always good at that. In fact, this morning, before she left for work, she addressed me as slave, which is not insulting to me, but endearing. Usually I’m “pup”, but slave is less used. And I appreciated hearing it.
Of course, much of this is moot, as one of the roommates came home and ended up making shots, so the counter is a mess, the bar is a mess and it looks like I didn’t really do anything in the kitchen. *shrug* Such is the way of communal living sometimes.
So, I’m a little stuck in how I’m managing some of the service, the unseen service. But it really does need to be done, so it’s getting done.
Of course, it could also be my mind trying to trick me into not liking this service just because I haven’t cum in a few weeks and I think cumming should be some kind of reward. But then where’s the fun in that?
I think I’m going to write this all off as being infected by this cold and see where I can go from there. But while making tags for this post, I did give myself a little more idea of where to go on posting – so that’s certainly of benefit.