Not service

Sometimes, I realize I am not serving. There’s very little of what I’m doing that could be considered service. But then, we look at the “outside world” that disturbs the chance for service… no… not the chance for service. This outside world distracts from service and gives an excuse for not serving. Within almost all situations there is suitable opportunity for service if one looks. And yet, I let other things influence me and get in the way of the service.

Okay, to be fair, the level of service we have been trying to achieve is a new one. We’ve talked about 24/7 but I am not sure that we are realistically pushing toward that. But then, if I’m having trouble with a few hours a day, keeping it as 24/7 won’t be possible, not without a certain and demonstrable adjustment to how I’ve been doing things.

I feel at a loss. I am not sure if it’s just my distractions with work, personal, the latest move, the smaller space I’m living in. Is it money, holidays, family things? Is it something else?

One thought on “Not service

  1. I think of D/s as an enhancement to the relationship. We have to deal with life first. No dessert until you eat your dinner!

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