Set it and forget it?

This is the phrase that comes back to me again and again. I guess Ron Popeil did his job right with my generation and I can remember this phrase so easily. And I actually owned a Show-time Rotisserie grill. It was great to set it and forget it.

Key note sculptureBut this is a kinky blog, we don’t usually talk about cooking here. That’s not the focus. If you’d like my recipes, do let me know, I made an excellent chili last night.

Set it and forget it comes to mind because we’re talking about male chastity. My own chastity. Our schedules this week take us apart from each other from Tuesday until today. To me, that’s not long term chastity. Long term is months at a time. [1] But being both apart from my Mistress and locked up have put me in a different mental space. Most often, we are together while I am locked up. She will tease, taunt and torture me while I am locked up. That can’t happen where we aren’t together.I have been house watching with my kids and ex-dog. She has been working hard on a work project during the week and now visiting family that need some medical help this weekend in a location that has crappy cell service. I hate this. I really do. I don’t throw around the word “hate” lightly, but this really hurts. It makes my chastity into a set it and forget it situation, which is where I don’t like to be.

Chastity is hands on (pun halfway intended) play for me. Just like my denial play, chastity is best served to me as something where she is near or actively participating in the chastity, reminding me of my locked up state, dangling the key in front of me, asking me questions about how my cock feels to be all locked up. Like tease and denial play where she teases, riles me all up, then denies my ejaculation; in chastity play, she locks me up, reminds me I’m locked, has me service her in other ways and then reminds me “Oh, well, you can’t fuck me while you’re all locked up” and rolls over to sleep, my cock straining at the steel while I spoon her. That’s not happening with her away and unreachable and it makes chastity suck. It makes my vanilla self influence my submissive self and tell me “Fuck it, if she’s going to walk away, just go get the key, go jerk off. She won’t care” even though I know that she does care and that she would be pissed off and disappointed and that I would be letting myself down. The moment cum were to spew from my cock, I’d be disappointed, let down and would know that I had disappointed both of us. And then I’d be in further depression.

So, how do I make this better?

  • I’ll suck it up. It’s less than a week, only five days. This is a good way for me to learn more patience in chastity as there could be the possibility of much longer term chastity in a year or so. There will be times when we are apart and I’ll need to learn to handle that better.
  • I’ll communicate this information to her, outside of just writing this post. We never get better in our relationship unless we communicate.
  • I’ll see her tonight and I will hope she releases me. And if she says no, I will have a particular smile on my face, knowing that I still get to sleep with her and serve her tonight and tomorrow morning. I’ll just have a black metal tube on my dick.

A lot of people think that chastity and tease and denial play is about not having sex. It is not. It’s about the ability to have sex put into the hands of someone else. And that’s what this whole lifestyle is all about, exchanging power, giving it to someone else, their acceptance of it and all that it entails.

[1] Long term differs based on who is asking. For many in long term chastity, “months” is very short term. I realize this. I am explaining what this means to me.

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