ISO continued….

16873254585_2cca04616e_zRegarding an earlier post (ISO), I was asked in a comment if it turns me on to see my sub engaged with another man sexually. My immediate thought was, “Well, yes, of course it does”, but on the heels of that, I had another thought, equally loud, that stated, “But it’s not just that….”

The short answer is that yes, the idea of him sexually engaged with with another man does many good things for me, on several different levels. Over the years, when I have had him flat on his back and I’ve been riding him, I will lean over him and whisper tales about him being fucked and used by another man, and I see what it does to him. I feel his hard become harder. I see rapid breathing become panting. My stories are often short but detailed, sort of like movie trailers that highlight the ‘Best of’. It can get him hooked, and he wants to know more.

We don’t actually get too many opportunities to make the fantasy a reality, but we do get some. My boy knows that my stories are just that…..stories, but he also knows that I have enabled some of those stories to become true. He will never really know what might become a reality, and I like keeping him in that suspense.

I want a bit more of the reality. When I placed my personals’  ad over a week ago, it was with the hope of finding just the right fit for us. I will sound like a bitch when I say this (and I don’t really care), but I want exactly what I want, or I want nothing at all.

Yes, I hold all the power, and I can make all the decisions when it comes to bringing another male submissive into our fold. I have received a good number of replies. I am appreciative of that. I respond to all, I am polite to all, but I know instinctively that I will be weeding out many. The things that ‘get’ me in these replies are perhaps not the things that are hot and sexy to others. I don’t actually care that someone can lick a pussy for 27 hours straight without stopping and that they have a nice dick and know how to use it. To me, that is about them, and not about what it is I seek.

I get more interested when someone can actually write and express themselves as a whole. If they are interesting, I become interested. Good grammar is a turn on for me. Yup….I admit it. I met my boy of 10 years because I put up a craigslist ad for 12 hours and he was the one who wrote with intelligence and thought. He got me at hello.

So, 10 years later, I am still attracted to the same things. An ability to connect. A desire to serve. An openness to explore. An intelligence that is shared. And a certain amount of inhibition.

I know it turns my boy on to be taken by another man. I want to see my boy on his hands and knees, in the living room, as another man sits on the leather couch, legs spread, head thrown back in pleasure, as my boy practices giving head. I envision myself in the kitchen (its an open concept, I can see all), pouring a glass of wine, watching but not staring. I want my boy to hear me tinkering about, knowing the entire time I am observing, judging, surveying, rating his performance.

I want to see this additional man grab him by his hair and pull him deeper. I want to hear my boy gag and see the man let up slightly until my boy collects his composure, and it starts again.

I want my boy to excel at the art of giving head in part because I know he wants it. My boy is pan sexual. I like honoring that.

But it’s not that easy. Putting an ad out to the universe, seeking an intimate counterpart to our established dynamic is challenging. It is daunting, actually. I can be a bitch, yes (and oh, how I like to be!) but I am also aware that hurting someones feelings is not a game I ever want to play.

I have exactly what I want all mapped out in my head. It is now about being flexible enough to go down a road or two and see what pans out. I have to remember that we are all human. We all are vulnerable to the same human fear of rejection. I will not reject someone because their cock is too small, or because they aren’t tall enough or make enough money. But I will reject someone who can’t and won’t recognize us as safe, sane and interesting. As the Grateful Dead sings, “I will not forgive you if you will not take the chance”.

So, yes. The ad is bringing good things. A few have completely piqued my interest. I know that I am liking how they present, what they have to say. I have not completely mapped out what it is that I want of them. I know that I want them to be pan sexual as well. I know that I will reserve the right to use them while my boy watches. I know I want service from them…..some measure of cooking, cleaning, doing. I will want to know all about their pleasure buttons too, and they things they dislike. I may want them to join us on one of the kinky, week long vacations we usually take twice a year…..6 days of kinky fun with 1000 other kinky adults, play spaces open 24 hours a day, clothing optional. Fantasy Island for adults. I will want them to be naked in such a place. I will want to send them over to the cabin next door and offer their services in massage and cleaning for a few good women who adore such things.

I want an additional toy that I can thoroughly and easily enjoy. I have one, but there is room for another. My boy john will always be my number one, and that’s just the way it goes. But there is room for more joy, more fun, more creativity. Will the submissive male who agrees to meet want this too?? I am not sure.

But I also know that I won’t forgive myself if I do not take the chance.

 

 

2 thoughts on “ISO continued….

  1. If you don’t mind me saying so MsChloe … the intelligence that is demonstrated by your use of words is something that makes you (and others) so incredibly attractive, too. I have never seen a picture of you …. but the vision in my minds eye of what you “look like” is so very sexy, merely because you demonstrate intelligence. For whatever that was worth, I felt like I wanted to tell you.

    This post speaks to me. It describes very well the feelings I have in my own marriage. There are things that, on the surface, I have little or no interest in. Things you describe in your post … being taken by another. I have no interest in the act itself. No desire to suck another man’s cock, or to be fucked in the ass by another man, merely for the sake of those things. No interest whatsoever. But … if it were something that Mistress K. found genuine excitement/pleasure in, well, it makes me hard just thinking about doing those things. I have no desire to consume my own cum every time I ejaculate, as one particular reader of my blog constantly suggests is a somehow a requirement for all sub/slave males. Mistress K. does not have a desire for me to do that either, which is why I don’t. But … just like other rituals in our marriage/household, if that were something that she got pleasure in having me do …. boing …. rock hard just thinking about it.

    Same thing for cuckholding. Neither of us wants it, but ….. if that were to change …..

    My point in all this is that for me, the actual, genuine pleasure I get from seeing my Mistress use me for pleasure, is indescribable. Although, you did a pretty good job describing it for me in this post. Thank you

    • Thank you kindly, subhubphx…..I very much appreciate your comments. I often think that we don’t always know what we want until we are faced with it. An example of this is that I don’t know that I need to see my boy experience some levels of humiliation, but what comes in those humiliating moments…..and after…..can give us hugely worthwhile things later. I wouldn’t know this unless we bump up against it. It’s worth an occasional dance with trail and error, I think.

      I think it is lovely that the mere thought of bringing your Mistress pleasure and joy has magic powers of persuasion over you! That makes both of you lucky in my book. :-)

      And, well, you have seen pictures of me, but you probably don’t know it. At least, a glimpse. The pictures that are attached to the blog are of us, j and me. Just our eyes, our lips, our skin, but it’s us. :-)

      Thanks so much for reading…..we so appreciate that, and we enjoy yours equally! :-)

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