As full and wonderful as our kinky world so often is, I still find myself seeking opportunities that I can bring home in order to fold them into our world.
To begin with, I am a “squirreler”. I tend to squirrel certain things, for certain reasons. This is a delicate thing for me, because I am also one who does not like clutter and mess. I like things organized and airy whenever possible. But I do know that I squirrel things at times. It would not be unusual to open one of my drawers and find 6 additional chap sticks, and a little zip lock of rubber bands than one could possibly use, because those things are not easily replaced or duplicated when needed.
Much like the harboring of things, I like to seek opportunities. I will often keep my eye on events, or people, or cruise through Craigslist in search of something that might catch my eye and imagination. I typically don’t have anything specific in mind when I do this, and in general, I am inherently a cautious person. If possible, I watch unobserved. I will perve a profile on Fetlife that gets my attention, and many times, I will reach out when it seems right to do so.
Sometimes I am ignored, and sometimes I am not. It all depends.
And, there have been few times when I have placed an ad on Craigslist. I think I have done this around five times in ten years. The act of placing an ad is one of those things where I feel I need to roll up my sleeves and brace myself for the onslaught.
If you are a woman seeking something that has to do with anything remotely sounding like sex, you’re gonna get hammered, and that is just the way it is.
Throw a little dominance in there, and it’s practically a concert in your inbox.
I do not place pictures of myself in those ads, I do not make things sound sexy or vulgar or promising. If anything, I write an ad that says too little. I have learned that the more you write, the greater the chance of getting flagged.
Initially, it is easy to sort through the stuff I don’t want. I make it a point to reply to everyone who responds. I think that is only courteous, even if their reply says, “I’d luv to cum on your face with my manstick. Hit me up”. Those replies are the kind I like to fuck around with. I try and make myself sound like the Queen of England when I respond, damn near killing them with proper politeness. I usually never hear from them again, which is the entire point.
Next, I find out if they are long distance or married. If the answer to those questions is “yes”, then they get a polite wave goodbye too.
If they cannot spell and have such mistakes in their responses to my ad that it is obvious they did not proof read what they were writing to me, they do not make the cut.
If they are uninteresting, I am uninterested. It is that simple.
If I get a cock shot, I send back a “Thanks for writing, good luck with your search” and attach a picture of a flamingo and hit delete button.
And then, there is the rest. Some are perfectly fine, but don’t provide any crumbs that lead me along their path. I end up wandering away pretty quickly.
This leaves the last two percent. And in this, persistence can pay off.
If I get one or two emails in that two percent, and they can write, and they capture my attention, and they are interesting, polite and genuine?? Oh wow…..you’d better watch out. I’m interested.
If you can paint pictures with your words, you are an artist worth knowing.
This is what gets me, in a good way. I cannot describe it any more than that, other than to say it is a mix of being confident and humble; curious and stoic. Humorous and genuine.
If someone writes with me, and they get into my head, I like them. It is really that simple. An attraction and interest grows for me, and it takes perennial root. Get my mind hooked, and I am going to want to know you.
What often will kill the buzz for me is when someone ends up including a picture of themselves. Oh, I dislike when they do that. Please don’t send a picture unless I ask. If you have my attention, I don’t really care what you look like. I will determine if there is physical chemistry when we meet. And you will do the same about me. A picture ends up demystifying all that I have in my mind and imagination, and I like keeping those things exclusive.
Poor john….my john. He sent me a picture after we emailed for over a month, and I was disappointed when he did. And he is a very handsome man. I didn’t like the photo, and I didn’t like how he denied me part of the mystery. It all turned out fine in the end, of course, but I still tease him about that. And for gods sake…he was wearing a baseball hat in his photo….not a good luck for him! I smile.
I am going through that now. Trying to squirrel away a few opportunities for future use for john. And t. And maybe p. I am building on ideas. I am toying with possibilities. I am building cunning plans.
I like cunning plans. The pictures running through my head are half the fun.