Close to the edge

Last night was an absolutely lovely night. I worked hard at the office, worked hard at home, but I also enjoyed half a beer, which was nice. Still on my way toward losing the weight, but taking some pleasure along the way. And after all, beer is bread and bread is essential. Well, sort of.


We had a good evening and I ran some errands, but we ended up in bed and I did my cleaning of her, as usual, but then I lingered around her bottom longer. Again, she lay on her belly and left side, her right leg bent a little and my head rested on the inside of her left thigh as I kissed her ass and rubbed her back. I did this for at least 20 minutes, if not a half hour, all the while my cock strained, full and hard. She sent a signal for her to join me and found her balls in her left hand, she squeezed them very hard, almost making me orgasm with the first squeeze. “I was thinking about fucking that cock, but you’re probably useless to me, aren’t you?”

“Probably so, Ma’am.”

But in the end, it didn’t stop her. She rolled to her back and we assumed “the most comfortable fucking position in the world” and I entered her. Several times as she would raise her hips I would pull my cock out, or I would simply say “stop stop stop!!” as she started grinding. Eventually, there were enough close calls, enough times where the edge was reached, that I was able to safely be inside her for a moment or three. I also did some math problems in my head. Yes, it’s true, I wasn’t thinking entirely of my Mistress while she fucked me. She continued, I did my best. “1,576, 1,583, 1,590… ” and yet eventually she brought herself up to an orgasm, so beautifully and she tilted her pelvis just slightly, rubbed against the head of my cock, she uttered “Good boy!” and this sent me right up to the very edge of the cliff and I pulled out uttering a reply of “NO!” as I was so very very close to cumming. To spilling it all. To changing the odometer from 98 to 0. Because yesterday was day 98. Tomorrow is day 100. And last night was an orgasm for my Mistress that she said I “robbed something from her… ” for which I feel so very bad.

The denial thing is lovely. It’s fun. We have a great deal of fun with it. But I do confess that the way it puts me on edge and makes me not be able to fuck her in the way that she deserves is one of the hardest parts of it. She deserves to get a good cock to be able to fuck her hard and long, but when I’ve been denied, and when she whispers anything to me, it sends me so close to the edge and risks pushing me over.

I know last night that the bucket spilled over into her. It’s not unusual. It’s not terrible. It helps to take some of the edge off of the sexual peak and allows me to be in some way useful to her as a cock-wielding man. But damn does it take a while to get to a safe place. And sometimes it still leaves me very near the edge.

Tomorrow will be 100 days since we all had leap day. I bet you didn’t know that. But I know it. Very much so. And I feel bad that Madame had part of her orgasm taken away from her, absolutely. But I wasn’t going to let the accident happen and turn that odometer back to zero. That would have been far worse, especially as we start packing for camp, where I’m hoping she might let me spill, somewhere in the realm of over 112 days or more. Or perhaps she won’t. I still don’t know. I still think it may have to do with whether I make my weight loss goal. But we’ll find out before the end of the month. Day 99. Whew. Remind me to post about the whole counting and big numbers thing. I’ve wanted to post about that too.

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