Reminded, again and again

Most often when we’re playing with chastity, it’s because I’m away from her for a weekend or traveling to somewhere. This latest time, I was only down in Massachusetts for a day trip, but I wanted to lock up while I was away. It’s comforting to me sometimes to be locked when I’m away from her even for short duration.

Sometimes when we play its because of a social event such as “Locktober”. Lots of kinky folks play then and last year I was locked from stem to stern of that month, a complete month of lockdown. Thanks social media!

But on these short stints, like we’re on now, it makes it so that I’m constantly reminded of our chastity lifestyle. I can’t predict when she’ll unlock me so in our calendar, where I track our chastity, I find the entry that says “Dog locked” and I edit it. Another day locked, I change the end time. Another morning awakened and she leaves the house before I do? Another few hours added. Constantly, once or twice a day I update the calendar entry, increasing the record of my sentence under lock and key to her. She just discussed our chastity play in a post yesterday and we both recognize that our chastity is not “set it and forget it” – but more like “set it and remind him – again and again”. My chastity, along with my orgasm denial, is something that we play with where the reminder is part of the play. Her reminding me that she’s going to cum and I’m not. Her showing me that she broke out the hitachi yesterday while I was locked and at the office. Her driving me to the edge with her words. Her waking up while I’m kneeling alongside the bed waiting for an erection to subside. All reminders to keep me remembering that I’m under her lock and key, even if I lock myself to start the sentence.

I don’t have any idea when she’ll let me out again. I’ll just keep updating the calendar entry each day as the sentence continues on and on. And we’ll add it all up again at the end of the year again.

Locked and Splayed

chastity lock

This is the text I got two minutes ago:

“Does it make you smile knowing that your boy is driving around the state, locked up for you?”

I got this from john, of course. Not that I would mind having another boy or 10 driving around the state locked in a steel chastity chastity device. Hell, I would get off on knowing that every single man out there walked around in a metal tube and lock, but that’s just me. Every time I see another woman walking around with a key dangling from a necklace from her neck, I smile a secret smile…..sometimes outwardly, sometimes privately because I am guessing that often times this is just a fashion statement that has nothing to do with chastity. Maybe…..but maybe not.  A dreamer can dream, right?

But to answer the question (I told him he’d have to wait for this post in order to find out), my reply is Yes, of course. Of course it makes me smile. But I smile at a lot of things regarding us. I do wonder, though… you think, pup, that you being locked in chastity becomes old?  Do you fear that one day I won’t smile as brightly?  That your chastity becomes something that is so routine that I stop being aware of it? To answer, it is not anything at all I’d ever tire of.  Ever. I found you last night, splayed out on top of our bed, completely naked, except for the shiny metal upon your cock and wrist. Your smile was splayed too, and the moment I see you, everything about you seems and feels right. I will never in a million years tire of such a thing….at the sight and knowledge of you.

Keuschheitskäfig_zI like the noise of this new cage. It clinks and clangs in a way that is different than the other devices, and I like it. I am guessing that a stranger or coworker would assume the noise has something to do with loose things in your pocket, but I know better. Oh….I know better.

We are in a quiet pattern in our kink. I won’t go as far as to say season, because seasons last months on end. And in Maine, winter is about 6 months long. So, I’ll call it patterns, much like a weather pattern that tends to last weeks and not months. Stormy outside yes, but quiet and peaceful on the inside. I feel a sense of contentment, but know that you crave more. I never, ever forget that you are my kinky, subservient, obedient, service-focused, collared, disciplined, owned, sexy boy. But I do sometimes omit from your diet the daily dose of kink that fortifies you. You are so easy to tend to, and you take such obvious joy and pleasure from chastity and restraint. When you lock yourself up as you do, and I am wearing that key, it’s a  strong bond between us. Another bond we share. I feel this sense of privilege knowing that I hold your key, knowing that you do this for the love of Me, for the love of our dynamic, for the love of the feeling you get. You don’t need a cage on that cock of yours to know and feel that you are owned, but it certainly adds to it.

So, when you ask if it makes me smile, the answer is a resounding, full-bodied, complete and utter Yes. It makes me smile in pleasure. In wickedness. In pride. In joy. In sadism.

In totality.


On denial, service and pleasure

We were in bed and both feeling amorous and she wanted to take me inside her. “Get that cock hard… “

I started getting my cock hard for her and she asked “Why aren’t you hard for me already?”

I let her know about how, with the exception of morning wood, it’s rare for me to be able to simply summon an erection without her input into it. Without her asking for it, demanding it, whispering about things – without her involvement. It’s taken a long time to get to that point, but it really is a case that my physical arousal is almost always contingent on her being present and wanting me to be aroused. Sure, there are others that I am with at times and I find my way to arousal, but it does take time.

It was a kind of casual fucking we were sharing and we talked as we entwined our bodies and she took her pleasures from me. “How long has it been since you spilled?”

“44 days” offering that latest denial length.

“What’s the longest you’ve gone… “ I was unable to answer precisely. I knew there was a time of 122 days. And I know there were times of other durations around 100 days, over and under.

“But it doesn’t matter much to me” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m so not worried about cumming any more” I explained as I slowly fucked her. “I like the orgasms I can have, but I’m not so worried about cumming. It’s just not as important as being part of your pleasure.” She smiled, pulled me into her with her leg.

“Go on… “

“I love being part of your pleasure. And it’s cliche, but I really do enjoy pleasuring you.” We paused speaking as we fucked. “Cumming is great, but I don’t like how I feel after and it’s far better feeling you cum around me.” I pinched at her nipple and she gasped. “I feel bad that I sometimes have to stop fucking because I’m too close to cumming. I wish I’d be able to fuck you exactly the way you want and not have to stop. I’m okay with you pushing me out when you’re done. To have me pull out when you tell me to heel, to have me stop once your pleasure is done.”

“I’m done, pull out” she said abruptly. I whimpered and pulled out.

We spoke some more and soon went to bed. She told me to blog about my denial, my service, my orgasms, my cumming.

I find myself in this cliche world that I really do enjoy her taking her pleasure from me. And while it’s sometimes defeating when she orders me to heel, to pull out, I do try to remember that it’s what I’m asking for. And I really do wish that I was able to fuck in whatever way she wanted for as long as she wants. And that she’d be able to speak any of the words and stories she’d like that would drive me crazy would not push me over the edge, but only to the edge where she could have me dangle for minutes on end all while she watches me struggle and writhe and whimper. And in the same way keep me hard, ready and fucking her until she was able to take her orgasm and then be done with me. I’ve mentioned n the past to her that I wish that my orgasm could be triggered by her granting permission – that perhaps I wouldn’t be able to cum unless she uttered some certain words or phrase – that my cumming would be 100% totally within her hands. I wonder sometimes if we could achieve that with training or hypnosis. I’ve been reading some information about the Masters and Johnson technique.

When I do cum, my behavior changes for a few days. It’s not the best of experiences although I’ve tried to become better with it – and I think with some noticeable improvement. But she does like my cumming. She likes my submission in cleaning up after myself and she simply likes making me do it. It’s enjoyable for her to make me cum, so of course she should be having me do so.

And yes, I accept my denial. I enjoy it. I get off on being told I can’t get off. But I’m not one of those people that never ever wants to cum again. Even if she never made me cum again, I’d still want to know that there’s some hope that I will cum. Even if she picks up the goalpost and moves it every week, I need to know that there’s a goalpost out there. “Oh, pup, maybe in summer we can let you cum… “ and then Fusion can come and go and a birthday and then we find ourselves having the last gin and tonic on Labor Day weekend and she can suggest “pup, perhaps you’ll have something to be thankful for in November? You can wait until then, right?” And then we’d find the new year coming around with promises that the present not given might come in the next year. THAT is the kind of denial I’m looking at. I’m not the type that fantasizes about her saying “Pup, we’re locking you up until the next decade, then we’ll throw some dice to see if you cum.” No, not that at all. And yeah, yeah I also do enjoy her whispering to me the stories of my not cumming again… but it does always turn up that we have a goalpost – but just not always. Damn, I’m awfully needy about my denial!

I’m not sure if there’s much of a POINT to this post, but let me try and sum up, as I write a distracted post. I do love pleasuring her. I do love cumming. I do love denial. And I love her tormenting me with her denying my spill. I wish I could fuck better and bring her more pleasure in that way without having to pullout. That’s a real nuisance. But I still very much enjoy our time together and our coupling and her taking pleasure. It’s a beautiful thing and I enjoy being there with her.

Less clothing option

woman on beach


I’m all packed, ready to go. Tomorrow at this time, I’ll hopefully be taxing down the runway, lifting off and away from the cold, grey skies and heading south. Off to the Caribbean tomorrow with my best friend to go see our housemate, who spends deep winter in the deep south.  Bus to Boston tonight, a quick overnight, and then away we go.

The only thing left to do is to lock up my boy, review with him the list of chores I expect  him to accomplish while I am gone, grab my bags and go. I’ll miss my boy terribly, but am comforted to know we have another trip on the heels of this one where we go to a 5 day kinky event together. I am looking forward to that too!

So, my dear dog, here is the list of things you’ll do while I am away:

Return returnables.

Make sure bathroom is sparkling clean upon my return.

Clean out that dryer hose I have been talking about.

Contact lucky and Ms. J and settle up with them.

Shoes. You will work on shoes…..yours and a few of mine need a bit of polishing love bestowed upon them. Do it.

Check in with my dad, plan on going over after work one day and having cocktail/dinner with him.

Contact our lovely friend Ms. C and see if she needs anything since she is still on crutches.

I would like that computer cabinet to be fitted to hold computers and cords better. Surprise me with your craftiness!

I will be gone 8 days. You are permitted to consume alcohol for 4 of these days. You decide which ones.

Miss Me. This is a very important order.

And finally, blog. I won’t be able to while I am away, so post a few times.

I’ll see you in a week, my lovely pet. Be the good boy you are, enjoy your week, enjoy the quiet, keep yourself busy and happy. I’ll bring you back a present. :-)


Bon Voyage, all!

Small moments

Sometimes it’s a small moment that takes place between her and I. One recent time was a family event at the hotel. Renting out a couple hotel rooms, ordering pizza and throwing the kids in the pool is a great way to get through a cold spell in Maine, so that’s what we did.

Food, cocktails, snacks and sodas for everyone up in the rooms, then time to change and head down to the pool. She and I went into one of the bathrooms in the suite and she stopped me after I had stripped off my pants and while she was also naked.

“Lay down” I lay on the floor. “Flat, head down” she clarified. I did so.

She stood over me, facing the locked door and let go a slow trickle. She quickly zeroed in on my mouth and it began to fill.

“Swallow” she said. I tried to keep up, swallowing and filling and swallowing as she continued to fill my mouth with her piss.

“That’s so fucking hot” she smiled as she spoke. My view was of her beautiful pussy and ass hovering over me, but her view was of watching in the mirror on the door – the trickle flowing into my mouth, my quick swallows and some of the splattering of piss onto my face. She had a great view and was very pleased. The sound of her piss sounded so loud. Water falling into a pool – trickling into a larger pocket of water – that sound, loud, echoing around the room. Surely anyone outside would be able to tell… but she just smiled.

She was done, it was not all she had, but it was enough to put me in my place. She finished up on the toilet and then squatted over me so I could clean her pussy of any stray drops.

“That was hot. The sounds, the look of your locked up cock. My piss filling your mouth. It makes me horny. But you’re locked up, aren’t you?” I nodded. “Pretty useless, pup. Pretty useless… ” she smiled and touched my chin.

“Get dressed, let’s go.”

We left the bathroom and continued on the rest of our evening with the family. We both agreed a good time was had by all and we giggled on the way home about our little escape into the bathroom, right under their noses, but still behind locked doors.

About that new device

That new device was small. Even she remarked on how small it was. She also teased me with it this morning when I knelt beside the bed waiting for my erection to subside. “…because your cock is in pain, locked up in such a tiny cage?”

To its credit (I’ll credit the cage), I only had to kneel beside the bed once during my slumber. But, I am sure that I was fully erect – just with my dick wearing a metal hat and most of my erection stuffed into my body.

I don’t believe that smaller chastity devices prevent erections on me. I’m willing to give it another shot, but not with this cage and how it stands now. I know how my skin feels when it’s been in contact with metal like this – and I think this cage may simply be too cheap and causing a reaction. So that means I need it powder coated. It needs attention that I cannot give it right now. And so I am released from that cage and am free, but I know I’ll be locked while she’s away late this week. We just have to decide which cage I’m locked in.

So this one, pretty good, though small. Cheap metal, like most of them. Good though. It was interesting and I look forward to trying it again. Once I can find a place to powder coat this.

Another short review

This time we’re looking at this new device, also picked up from China, as a test device. It’s shorter. Much shorter. And I have wanted to try a short device because I have heard good things, but unsure I believe them. So, I’m jumping on the short CB bandwagon and giving it a shot.

First observation is that this is narrow. Very small. I worked on getting my penis into the end of the device with a chopstick to help poke through the cage, but still could not coax it to fill to the end of the device. It’s just too narrow so far. We’ll see what happens when my cock gets harder and has to expand to somewhere – I suspect I may find the head of my cock pressing at the end of the cage.

I’m a little fearful that I could get erection stuck in this one since it is so small. Not worried about the a-ring, but I am worried about the cage.

I’m also not sure the metal is clean enough for my skin – remember, nickel allergy. There could be a reaction starting, but I’ll give it the day before I make the call on that.

More to come!

Sexual Sadist?


I really like John’s post from yesterday. I too read it as a reader- as an observer.  I didn’t know he was posting such a thing, and I certainly didn’t see him working on any graphs. It was a delightful surprise to me to see it. And it got me thinking about how different our approach is to his chastity and denial.

I don’t lock him up for the numbers. I don’t deny him to make the graph look sharper. I don’t engage in this behavior to make one year stronger than the next. So…..if I don’t do it for those reasons, then why do I do it??

The short answer is that I don’t know. I just do it.  Many times, john is the perpetrator of the lock-down. I never asked for, nor did I order, the purchasing of his new devices. I simply have made comment that I like the look of certain contraptions, and voila….a couple of them arrived in the mail. He knows the rule…..if he is going to be away from me  for a night or more,  he gets locked up. The reason is simple: I just like and want it that way. But on other days, with other opportunities, he’ll just take it upon himself to sport a cage or insert a plug. He’ll be fairly sneaky about it too, waiting hours before he’ll snap a photo of himself during the work day and sent it to me….the metal tube poking out of the fly of his pants, accompanied by a bright yet sheepish smile.

The ejaculation denial is something I have more control of. I like him in a perpetual state of desire; there is a lot of fun in that particular playground. It’s a psychological kind of thing. He lusts, I tease, he begs, I deny. Edging. It’s what we do, and we do it well.

Sometimes I do things to john, or order him to do things to himself because, simply put, I am mean. I am part sadist and we both know it. I love the sweet torment that accompanies all of this. I take pleasure from fierce begging and the firm denial. I see what it does to him. I see how his eyes change, how his head thrashes, how his fingers curl. It can be a beautiful thing to watch a beautiful man chew his own knuckles.

And, sometimes too, I do things to john because I know he loves to hate the things he loves. This is a different sort of nudity, a different kind of exposure. It reveals a vulnerability in a strong man that I don’t otherwise get to see. John can and does often steward his own ship, which might seem odd considering we live a FLR, but think about it….he is making my job as owner and leading lady easier. At the end of the day, we want the people we love to be loved and happy. I like that he has passions that I get to share, but don’t always have to orchestrate. I cannot be, nor do I ever want to be, the architect for all of the things that make us sexually dizzy. That would be too much work for me. I am simply not interested.  But I DO love that he will take that lead, put us on that path, and then hand over the leash. To me, these things are the makings of a true submissive. He knows what makes him happy, and he gives that power to me after securing it.

I am curious as to what 2018 might bring to us. I don’t know if we will alter any trends or break any records. These things are not the point. But I do know that we both enjoy it. Especially the denial piece. The part I want to work on? Getting better at the edging thing. I have been responsible for his spilling, because at the end of the day, biology rules. So, here’s to 2018. May my force be with us. :-)


The statistics of 2017

Statistics wonks will love this one…

I keep track of how often I’m allowed to ejaculate, how long I am locked and how often I am plugged. The latter statistic is a new one, so the data isn’t comparable to any other year. I was plugged just over 50 hours last year.

I use a google calendar to keep it and track keywords. I later use a google calendar calculation plugin to add up the time. If there are typos in my recording things, they’ll get missed.

What I notice in these statistics is that while I’m locked far longer, I am having more ejaculations than ever before. Every single one is supervised. I can’t remember the last time I had one without a woman present.

I also realize that, compared to some, we don’t keep me locked up a lot and I am allowed far more ejaculations than many other submissive men, but this is our kinky life and we’re having a ball living it. I hope you all are having as much fun as we are!

I also know that Madame may very well be shaking her head at me, wondering how I can write about a topic like this and make it sexy and I know that sexy is in the eye of the beholder – not necessarily the keyholder. To me, this kind of info is sexy and I know some other locked men are happy to read it. It’s an insight into our world and how we live it. And the fact that you, my lovely Mistress, are holding my key right now is damn sexy too. Love you.

Statistics are sexy

Statistics are sexy



The envelope please

Life calls me away from my owner and home and into some full time parenting, so I’m away for a couple days. Since we’ve been experimenting with a new device for enforcing my chastity, I did not feel comfortable leaving without some way to escape the device should there be a problem. After all, some chastity devices take a good length of time before they reveal their problems. So, I left two of the keys with Madame and we sealed up one in the envelope which we beautifully decorated for me. I hope not to use it, but there will be no mistaking it if I do!

The envelope holding the key to her property

The envelope holding the key to her property

I like these types of rituals. My putting the key in an envelope, her signing it. It may seem like trivial housekeeping, but every time we do something like this it underscores her ownership of me. “Yes, put the key in an envelope… ” she orders. And yes, she puts pen to paper, she decorates it. She draws out the process. She could have just signed a name and been done, but she took the time to decorate, to get things the way she wanted while I stood there and watched. I know she did it deliberately and I love it. And yes, my cock swelled in the cage while she did it.

Sometimes these little things in our D/s life are very powerful and far beyond what anyone would think of them were they to look from the outside, but we know. She knows. And she makes sure I know.