She’s tracking me more now. I wear two collars. One, a lovely stainless steel shackle and leather bracelet that gets removed only for my shower each day. But this weekend she added another collar. This one, on the other wrist, tracks my movements. She tracks my steps. There’s a goal of 5000 steps a day right now. I may come up short today.
She also tracks all that I eat and drink. I have a certain number of points per day I’m allowed to eat. I also have the ability to have some other points during the week, but I’m trying to keep as close to the points allotted as possible.
See, here’s the thing. Before last year’s DO Fusion, I wanted to weigh less than 200 pounds. I…. didn’t quite make it. I was close at 203. And then we went to camp and we had summer and cocktails and beaches and BBQ and…. oh so many delicious things. And now last week, I find myself at my highest recorded weight, over 225. And that’s not acceptable to me. And it’s not acceptable to her.
So, she told me “I’d like you to do this… ” and indicated my signing up for the Weight Watchers online program – just a few bucks a month for the app to track all I eat and set goals.
“I’d like Her to insist on it.”
“Then consider it insisted on. You’ll download and install the app by Sunday. And you’ll start Monday.”
“Yes Ma’am” I replied with a smile.
So, we’ve walked a couple times, which I think is a good predecessor to my getting back running again. If I start by running, I’ll blow out my system again (legs, hip, calves) so I’m going to go with walking first. Then I’ll add the running again later. We’ve started eating better. I had a really really crappy night last night, getting far too hungry and getting hangry. I was no fun. And yet, I ended up with enough points to spend at the end of the day that I spent the rest on Vodka. 4.5 ounces of vodka. And a little vermouth and a couple olives too. Oh that was lovely. And took the edge off. And let me be me again.
I know that changing the diet will be a different place to be. I’ve done it before. I felt SO good after deleting sugar from my diet. It’s so hard to avoid, but I did it for a couple months. Oh wow did it change me. And then I fell off the wagon and ate “all the things”. I need to make the change. I’ll forgive myself the week of camp – I have to. But I’ll still exercise.
And here’s another part of it. She and I (well, let’s be honest, the lowercase she and I) are doing this together as a couple – and that can make all the difference. I was crappy last night about it all. And she was good and patient, though I could tell she was hating my attitude. And then I got better and she got worse. So the together part is very good for the both of us. I really think it can make us succeed where we’ve failed in the past. It’s a good thing to do together and bring us closer. Well, without all the inches in the way, we’ll be far closer! :)
I also look forward to, once She gets through a small procedure that will alleviate some discomfort for her, having her be more of a dominant woman in regard to detailing what I will and will not be eating and how I will or will not be exercising. And I also look forward to her using sex to get her way about it. I can easily see her using rewards of sex for my good behavior and even maybe some of my preferred funishments as incentive as well. As far as punishment, well, lack of play will certainly be a punishment! And I can see her using THAT as well. I can see her really jumping forward as her confidence rises, my compliance becomes a little easier (I have lots of food habits to break!) and we start succeeding together.
So, I’ll wear the collars and be tracked all the live long day if she wants. I’m more than happy to be that dog for her. And hopefully by the time we get to camp I’ll be less of a belly than I am now, and get into a healthier place.