Been a long time…

Its been a long time since I blogged here. I tend to do that. Go for long spells where I fail to write and then write a whole lot. It can be tedious for the reader and it certainly does gain a loyal following, but it’s how my life is.

I could talk about work and its stresses and demands. I could talk about home life and how its going mostly well, but my world as a “Dad” might be stressed more than I expected it could be. I could discuss my kink, which is going well. And I could discuss my female led relationship, which is also going well. But to pick out a few things might make them seem more “important” or “impactful” than others and I don’t want to annoy or upset anyone by doing that.

But in essence, I kind of need to do that. Instead of writing “all the things!” I’m going to need to pick out a few things here and there and expound on them as regularly as I can. And if I’m including people in the conversations, then they’ll need to know that I’m dancing ^W writing as fast as I can and will get to all the things, eventually.

And no, it’s not a NaNoWriMo type thing inspiring the writing that I need to do, but I do think that there are times when putting pen to paper (or hands to keys) can be a useful exercise in working things out. It’s much like the technical technique of “confessional debugging” – where you explain the problem to someone else, what debugging steps you’ve tried and more often than not, just in the process of explaining it this way and the person you’re explaining to mostly listening, you can discover the problem on your own. It really works well! So, perhaps my confessional debugging of writing will help all of me and in the process help me find some peace of mind with all the things in my head. At my core, I am happy, but a few important things make me feel stressed and not entirely whole. So I’ll do what I can to bring some of that to the fore and see where I can make improvements. So, let’s hope for more writing from me soon!

Locktober Thirty First

Here we are at the end of Locktober. Madame reminded me this morning and suggested I write about it. Her suggestion fell on my stressed ears, as I was up at 5 am and worrying about work, which is particularly busy given the recent storm that’s decimated our state.

32 days locked in chastity - taken in the locker room.

32 days locked in chastity – taken in the locker room.

I am unsure what she has in mind for release, but she wants to know what’s in my head. I think she will unlock me and fuck me until I cum. Then she will expect a good long hard fucking after that. We both know that my stamina after being locked will be almost nil. But there’s also part of me that thinks she will not let me cum, but just use me for her own pleasure. It will be difficult for her to find her way to an orgasm with me inside her due to the chastity invoked hair trigger. We also have a pending visit from TSPD who may be expecting some joyful fun sexy times, but I don’t know what limits Madame will place on me for the visit.

I will, certainly, be happy to be unlocked. I expect some healing time for the cock, as I know the head is chafed. I think that little spot on the underside of her cock may be chafed a little as well.

I am very pleased with my ability to stay locked as long as I have. It’s been a while since I was locked for a full month. Usually Madame won’t make the sacrifice of being without her cock for that long. And she really HAS made a sacrifice. I can’t even find the beautiful copper cock that has often stood in for my cock in previous times. It hasn’t reappeared since her venture to summer camp.

Overall, I look forward to her touching my cock again, to feeling it pressed against her ass as we spoon each other in bed. Whether I cum or not – well, that’s up to her and I’d like to feel it, but I wonder how much her desire to tease me and make me whimper might color her opinion. She says she’s already made her decision. I think I know what that is and I think I know what will happen in the coming weekend and visit from TSPD. But then, I’d be foolish to count on what _I_ think a woman would decide regarding such things. I do look forward to the release. Absolutely. Whether I get unlocked AND get to cum will be up to her. I want her to enjoy whatever she decides to do.

Cake (a plausible fantasy)

I got back from vacation earlier than expected so I was able to attend a friend’s birthday party. And I was able to help Madame with a chore she was saddled with – buying a birthday cake. Naturally, I went to one of the best bakers in town, where we’ve bought cake before and never been disappointed. It happens to be next to a place that makes the best Sicilian pizza slice in town, so I just curiously ended up there at lunch time!

I picked up a cake for a friend's birthday event.

I picked up a cake for a friend’s birthday event.

Got home, put the cake in the fridge and proceeded to unpack more of the car from the road trip vacation. And then I got a text. Naturally, having MADE a spot for it in the fridge and it being taped and secured and ensconced within the fridge, I didn’t want to take it out, untape it, open, picture, close it, tape it, restack the fridge, all of that. I mean, it’s a frikkin simple chocolate cake where I had them write “Happy Birthday Karen” on it. (Names may be changed to protect the guilty). No number of years, nothing out of the ordinary. It was a delicious chocolate cake from a known damn good bakery. No worries. Why did she need a picture?

But at 5:04 I was summoned to the driveway. *

“The bags in the back, in the kitchen” was what she started with. I opened the back of the car, grabbed the bags and started carrying. I wasn’t getting a “welcome home” kiss from her. “Put them on the counter, then get naked and kneel in the bedroom.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” was my reply. I did as I was told.

She was in the bedroom in short order and grabbed my by the hair. “Tell me what this sentence means. ‘Send me a picture of the cake’ ”

“Ma’am?”

“What does this mean to you? SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF CAKE?!”

I knew she was pissed. Was she really pissed? Or pretend pissed? It didn’t matter. I was really in trouble.

“You wanted a picture of the cake?”

“Yes, a simple request, I thought. And yet I didn’t get a picture of the cake, did I?”

“Ma’am, it was buried in the… ”

“Shut it. Shut the fuck up!

Stand. Hands on the end of the bed, present your ass.” I did as told, presenting myself to her. She walked by me, heading toward my belts. She grabbed the black leather belt and stood to the side of me. Her hand again in my hair, pulling my face to look at her. “It was not a difficult task, but all I got was an excuse. Now you’ll pay for a bullshit excuse. Do not fucking move or it will be much worse.”

She let go of my hair, walked behind me and I heard her swing the belt through the air as she doubled it, wrapped it around her fist and tested her distance. I braced.

She beat my ass relentlessly, all over my ass and thighs, working them hard. A couple times I crumpled down to my knees and she ordered me up to my feet again. The last time I crumpled she reached, grabbed my balls painfully and yanked me up from my knees. The last time I crumpled she put a foot on my back, shoved me all the way to the floor and just stood over my body and whipped my ass with the belt.

She fumed. She was angry. She did not like that I disobeyed, but I didn’t know it was an order like that. I suppose I should treat more of those queries as orders. I gave in, my body gave up, I succumbed and just fell to her whipping. I could not move, would not move, would not whimper, I was simply getting whipped raw by a belt and she continued. I could only tell that her breathing was heavy and she was angry.

Finally, she stopped. I felt the belt land on my back as she dropped it. She went to the corner of our room with a chair and flopped into it. She sat there and watched me. My red ass humped the ground I was laying on. She caught glimpses of my erection underneath my red ass. She rubbed herself. I was roused by hearing her touching herself and moaning. Minutes later, I cleaned her from her arousal and orgasm.

“Wash your face and get dressed. We have a party to go to.”


* This is the point where fact turns into fantasy…

 

 

Some questions, answered

On twitter, “SFD” wrote in a message asking some questions. Here they are (not exactly word for word):

How long have you been currently locked up?

At the time this person wrote, only 8 days.

What is the longest ?

122.

What device are you in?

We own a Steelworxx.de Steelheart 2. It is, like most Steelheart devices, custom sized. It’s also black powder coated, as I have an allergy to metal on my skin.I’ve had the powder coat from the factory redone once – that was an interesting interaction with the powder coat people. I would not recommend this as a first device, but as a second device, once you know what sizes you want/need – it’s a good choice. There are some really beautiful custom devices now, I wish I could afford them.

When she lets you have a release, how does she do it?

Most often, it’s through PIV sex and she grants me release. Sometimes it’s when I’m being toppy (it does happen!) and I’ll release wherever I want to. There are times I am toppy and I don’t cum, but sometimes, she’ll want some of my toppy energy after she has made me cum – it really lets me fuck very hard for a while after that.

Does she give you tie-and-tease sessions?

I am often teased and almost always denied. I am very rarely tied down for these. Sometimes I will ask for permission to beg while she teases me and she says yes, allowing me to beg to cum. She and I both know that I really do not want to, but she loves hearing me beg and telling me “no”.

How often do you pleasure her sexually by non penis means

Daily! I am always rubbing her back, feet or other body parts and almost every night I rub her back while she falls asleep. We also have some evening oral rituals I perform. You might not think these are sexual touches but as she asks for them for her pleasure – well, isn’t all pleasurable touch sexual?

Would you ever go back?

Never. Not a chance.

I’m getting changed

Things have been crowded at our home lately with my kids shoehorning themselves into the household dynamic. Madame is graciously giving us space in the master suite while she takes another bed. Because the alternative of all of us sharing the same space, with two teenage boys, is a little off. Today she informed me with a wink that she was getting changed before she headed to the beach to join some friends for sun and sand. Naturally, I went to join her and help her out of those restrictive clothes.

Finding an opportunity, she grabbed a dresser and stuck out her bottom and I did some cleaning for her, as she had been missing this aspect of our evening rituals. Then we lay down on the bed together, me naked, her partly clothed, me servicing her with her cock and she laying back and enjoying.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you the fucking you want… you keep me at the edge so long… ”

“Do you think I don’t know how to get what I want from that cock? Do you think that I’m not getting exactly what I want, boy?” she replied as she lay back and took my cock into her.

We fucked slowly and intensely, my cock swelling thick and hard, he pussy getting wet. I knew the point that I leaked into her, something slightly more than pre-cum seeping into her, she felt it too. We smiled together.

She touched my face, my hair, I licked her hand.

“May I orgasm please?” I asked. She knew it was just an orgasm, not an ejaculation and granted my request. I licked at her hand again, gripped into myself and pushed myself into a beautiful orgasm, just feeling all those good tense points inside as they pulled and pushed. I whimpered, close to cumming, but just orgasming while in her. She smiled at me. I pulled the muscles tighter and let them go again, orgasm still flowing.

We soon fell into a nap together, drifting in and out of slumber and sleep, she drifting in and out of dream cycles. I, relaxing, drifting, feeling us together. As my cock waned and slipped from her, she stirred, but it was just another dream cycle. I held my place while she slumbered. It was a beautiful nap. A beautiful time. I was very much her pet, her partner, her slave, her owned property, all at the same time.

I am so happy with my vacation these past two weeks or so. It’s been a delight. I will write more later. But today was just heavenly.

I love how hungry you are

VenusButterflyThis was the text I received from her this morning after I had shared a 4 image series of pics, one of which is included here. And indeed, I am hungry. She’s denied me for over 100 days. And last night, while our reunion was sleepy and tired and we both desired deep slumber, she also was aroused by my naked body next to hers, my gentle petting of her pussy, my nuzzling her arm, petting her body… I could tell she had already touched herself, as I could smell her while she pet my face.

We caught up from our weekends apart, I pet and nuzzled her, she grew sleepy. She got up to go to the bathroom before we both settled in for sleep. I placed her body pillow in the right position, set the covers to accept her into the bed, moved her squishy pillow to the right spot. She returned, got into bed and her hand grabbed at the back of my head, quickly pulling my head of its pillow and toward her pussy. I cleaned her diligently, thankful to be between her legs and servicing her, as well as pleasuring her. My tongue lapped all around her pussy and then settled a few broad tongued strokes across the top of her clitoral hood, shaking the jewelry that has lived there for years. Now her hand pulled at my hair again, pulling me up, moving my body in between her legs, my hard cock ready to be inside.

“May I, Ma’am?” I asked as I wet the head with my hand.

She breathed out the word “Yes” and I was in her before the “s” faded. “Good boy!” she breathed out. I thrust twice and pulled back, already close to the edge. Gradually I was able to fuck her, one thrust at a time, her fingers danced on her clit while I did so.

“How does it feel to fuck without cumming for 102 days?”

“It’s intense, I can barely keep myself calm enough.”

“How long have I denied you?”

“102 days Ma’am.”

“Say it, say it all… ”

“You’ve denied me for over 100 days Ma’am. I haven’t cum in over 100 days.”

“No, you haven’t. Maybe you’ll never cum again… ” I pulled out. “Put it back in!”

“I can’t! I’m too close Ma’am, it’s been over 100 days.”

“Over 100 days of denial pup?” she was enjoying this as much as I was.

“Yes Ma’am” I whimpered, almost whining.

“100 days of no cumming. Oh those balls are so full, I can feel how heavy they are. Fuck me, pup!” I slid in, then out again. “FUCK ME, PUP!” I slid in and out again.

Her orgasm hit her quickly. Surprised, she had just pushed herself over the edge. She was falling down the other side of the mountain head over heels. I breathed deeply and entered her again, she squeezed my cock, I held steady. She cried out, I held steady. I slid in just a bit deeper, she squeezed me hard and thrashed. When she could breathe again, she uttered “Good. Boy!” I had to pull out. She uttered dismay at my leaving her. I apologized.

“Do you need cleaning, Ma’am?”

“Yes, pup, clean me.” I did, sliding from my cock between her legs to my mouth, where I cleaned her. Soon we were spooned again together, under the covers.

Now I felt it. I felt it within me. She heard me moan and I moved slowly against her, I knew what was in me, coupling with her after being away for two nights made this body to body intimacy grow this in me. I asked. “May I orgasm, Ma’am?”

“Yes, pup.” I let down the internal barrier holding back my orgasm. I let the energy cycle around in its circular path. The energy flowed and built. I was close, I could feel it. My cock swelled and rubbed against her. I clutched her tightly, spooning her, my hand on her breast. I was close. I asked her “please…  how many days… will I ever cum again?” She knew where I was going, she helped push me to the edge.

“102 days pup. One Hundred and Two.” I pulled her tightly into me. I tensed. “I don’t know that you ever need to cum again, pup. I don’t know why I need that. That mess. I get all I want from that cock and I don’t think I need any more than that pup. No, I don’t think you’ll ever need to cum again, pup.” And from that edge she pushed me to, those last sentences pushed me over the edge. While she had rolled down a mountain when she went over the edge minutes before, I fell off a cliff, suspended in mid-air, my entire body grabbed at her, my arms, legs, hips, cock, hands, everything. I grabbed tightly at her. Falling yet suspended and then WHAM, I hit the ground, my body shaking violently as I hit, the orgasm washing through me, over me, it made me shake so intensely.

I remembered to breathe, as best I could. I loosened my grip. I thanked her. One decent aftershock and we were in bed together, spooned, ready for bed, we slumbered, we slept. I’m not sure when I moved again, but it felt like I was wrapped in her for 8 hours.

Used

Last night, she woke late, needing me. Needing me inside her. And she took me in, used me, pleasured herself, brought me to the edge a couple times, then she simply rolled over, clutched her pillow and went to sleep. My cock, dripping and hard, throbbed as she rolled over away from me. I sidled up to her, as best I could with my cock pushing straight out away from me, tucking it down. I rubbed her back for less than a minute and she was asleep. This was, in fact, the second time she had used me as her sex toy that day.

I rolled onto my back, stroked my cock – only to frustrate myself further. Still no cumming allowed, I ended up just teasing myself to the edge before my brain would let me relax enough to sleep.

It’s been 95 days today since I’ve ejaculated. She likes that a lot. She likes the number 100 a lot. But she’s getting restless.

 

Down boy…

Busy Sunday. Lots of errands, lots of work. Project here, project there. They bounce off each other all day, taking moments when they can.

He walks into the bedroom.

“Kneel. Here.” She points to the floor at the foot of the bed. He kneels. He wears a bandana, shirt, jeans and her panties, but she doesn’t know about the last part.

She steps to the foot of the bed, bends over to lay her torso on it and simultaneously pushes her pants and panties down.

“Kiss my ass, boy.” He does. Reverently placing kiss after kiss on both her cheeks. His hands hold her hips, then slide up under her sweatshirt and caress her breasts.

“Clean me.” His tongue now into action, he presses it into her pussy, lapping at her. Some sweat, some piss, just the days worth of woman that is on her.

“Deeper.” He pushes deeper, his nose buried, his breathing stopped while he delves deep.

“Now up…” He pulls back from her and asks her to repeat, it’s hard to hear when one’s face is deep in a pussy. “My ass pup, clean.” He utters a brief acknowledgement and settles in between her cheeks to clean. She’s never that dirty but he knows it’s her. He knows he’s cleaning her in a most intimate way.

Again he hears “Deeper” and he pushes his tongue in deeply, again his breathing paused while he delves in deep, gently fucking her hole with his tongue. He tips his head up, letting his nose get a breath of air into him and returns to the task. A belt must have been on the bed, or in her hands, and now it’s pulling at the back of his neck, pulling him deeply into her, deeper still. His tongue and jaw hurt. She pulls hard, pushing back against him, smothering him. He sputters out air but gets none in. She tortures him like this for just a few seconds, but when one doesn’t receive new oxygen, seconds have a more noticeable duration.

She releases him. He falls back on his haunches, still touching her hips. He holds himself by holding her. Relieved for the air, he moves to continue where he left off, but she tells him “Stay” as she stands, straightens herself and pulls up her clothes. He starts to get up and she stops him. “No, pup. Stay. Stay kneeling right there until I leave the room and that cock stops sticking out so obviously.”

He does just that, waiting for his cock to soften, he inhales her scent and smiles. Lucky dog.

“Mouth!”

This morning, I quipped something to Madame while I sat at the table, sipping my coffee and doing my typical morning wake up routine.

“Okay, mouth!” was her equally terse reply.

And that was it.

But then, my mind went elsewhere. In my mind, it continued more like this.

Madame soon returned into the dining room and stood in front of me. I looked up. “That mouth of yours is going to get you into trouble. In fact, it has. Up! Now!” She pulled me by my robe to get me up, then moved her grip to the tip of my cock, squeezing it tightly and pulling me to follow her. My robe fluttered open and loose as she walked me, her feet stomping, into the bedroom. Releasing her grip on my cock she grabbed the back of my head, pushed me against the bed and bent me over. “Down there. Don’t fucking move.”

She walked out of the room for a minute and then returned, locking the door behind her. I stayed in position, bent over the bed at the waist, my head turned to the right as my left cheek rested on the covers. Her hand grabbed my hair roughly. “Open!” she barked. I opened and into my mouth went a bar of soap. “I can’t believe you need to be reminded so soon. Didn’t I just beat you for your mouth a few days ago? Did you learn nothing? I don’t have time to be correcting you every time. And the roommates sure as hell don’t need to hear this so you’re going to keep quiet. Don’t you dare scream, even if you want to. And don’t you dare move.”

She walked behind me and left me on the bed, the soap between my teeth. I knew she was grabbing a cane from the little niche behind the dresser.

She spoke quietly but sternly as she reminded me “You keep quiet. I don’t want to hear anything from you. And I don’t have time for this, so I’m just going to cane you as much as I damn well think is appropriate.” I whimpered.

Normally our canings are slow and steady, giving one’s body time to react to each of the strokes as they reverberate through the body. But this time, she would give me no such rest. She beat me, hard, and just whipped at my ass incessantly. I couldn’t even count as the fire of the cane went through my ass, I tried to grit my teeth but only got more soap for my efforts. I wanted to cry out, but could not. 10, 20, 30 swats, she just kept at it. I really lost track but I think she laid down 40 or so strokes to my ass. She did nothing to spread them out, they all landed solidly in the middle of my ass, all overlapping and raising some proud welts immediately.

She had finished, my ass was on fire, drool dripped onto the bed from the end of the bar of soap. She grabbed my hair and pulled me up off the bed, but only far enough to put me on my knees in front of the bed. She wrenched my head back. I coughed and sputtered with the soap in my mouth as the drool tried to slide into my throat. “Cry if you want, pup, but do not yell. Do not dare to touch your ass. Crawl over to wall, put your forehead against it and you just kneel there until I come back. And don’t drop that soap.” As I weakly crawled across the floor, she stripped me of the robe as I moved, leaving me naked and kneeling in front of the wall.

 

Okay, so that’s a fantasy, perhaps I came up with more as I wrote it, but the basic premise of her not putting up with my being mouthy is what was in my head. And whipping my ass rapidly with a cane, demanding my quiet due to roommates, and putting me “in the corner” or against the wall, was the end point. At the table with my thoughts, my cock swelled. But in the fantasy, up against the wall, my cock retreated, no signs of arousal. This was a punishment and minutes later, the fire in my ass would feel exactly like a punishment.

The reality is that we are getting ready to have time apart in the coming week. And we DO have roommates who have to be considered. And one of the roommates was in the bathroom, so the soap would have been an issue. And even being quiet, with the bathroom right next to our room, that would be an issue too. So we have these limits. But I wouldn’t begrudge her the idea of punishing me for being tart with her. Perhaps, reading this, she might see it and want to enact such a punishment in future infractions. Of course, I also don’t want to be her petulant child! Just her pet. ;) So, maybe we just talk more about it later. And maybe, the next time I’m short with her, I’ll find myself with a mouthful.

A brief moment

She’s been working hard on a project for work which I can’t really help her with. She’s stressed and has worked on it for the past few nights, camping at the dining room table and working on a presentation. I had a lot of time in the car for work today and ended up coming home late.

I came home, changed, sat to relax on the couch and she came over for a kiss and a break from her work. I held her hand, she stood in front of me and bent over to kiss me. It was a nice little break for her. When she was done, she stood, turned away from me and pushed her PJs down, exposing her bottom. I leaned forward and kissed her ass, planting multiple kisses on both her cheeks. She bent forward. I removed my glasses and leaned in deeper, pushing my nose between her cheeks, opening her to my tongue and I cleaned her, as was her wish from how she signaled me. I pulled her into me to reach deeper and clean her well. She let out a nice deep breath and then stood. “Good boy” was all she said as she patted me on the head and pulled her PJs back up.

It’s the little things…