Yet another Winter Fire write up, but different…

My write up of Winter Fire is different, most likely because my event was different. I don’t need to discuss, in detail, much of the activitie, because, honestly, there were not a lot of kinky things. It was not that kind of event for me this time.

My play was finite, it was lovely, it was fun, but aside from one piece of dungeon equipment I could likely have had that play almost anywhere and not in a luxury hotel takeover. ;) Alright, fine, I could not have demo bottomed just anywhere. That one too.

I went into Winterfire with great fatigue from work. My work is not manual labor, it’s office work. Just pressures of “all the things” that I have to do and other people cannot do. It’s very easy to say that I am indispensable at work. Indispensable is good, until you can’t get away without being pestered. My personal life is going well right now, relationships are good and positive, I’ve found new family members and overall the extended family is talking more. And my volunteer efforts are… proceeding. Proceeding forward even if not the best performance possible, but I have a plan for that.

I looked at Winter Fire as an escape from work. I go, I work my tail off, I set up all the kinky wonderful things for you perverts to use and I sit around drinking bourbon while you use it. Sometimes I’ll take some time to use the space as well. Then I tear it all down a few hours after you’ve gone to bed on Monday morning, pack it into trucks and put it all away for the rest of the winter until Fusion shows up. It’s physically demanding, mentally stimulating and I get to work with a bunch of really wonderful people who have the same work ethic. We also share two awesome meals together. That’s my “job” at Winter Fire. It’s a rewarding and fun job and I do love so many of the people I do it with and I’ve made great friends with so many of them. I truly missed some of them this time around and look forward to hearing why I didn’t see them.

So I went to Winter Fire with zero planned playdates, just one possible fantasy to fulfill and a whole lot of relaxing to do. Chloe was planning to fly down and join me in the hotel room for a couple days, without doing all the work like I do on the crew this time. The weather was so beautiful that Saturday, Chloe and I rented City Bikes and wandered around the capital, the mall, several of the monuments and then back to the overflow hotel City Bike parking. It was a GREAT morning. Saturday night, we played a game together where we each picked three toys, put them in a drawer and gave each other 10 minutes with each toy. THAT was a blast and it was so much fun switching with Chloe that way.

The chicken wing cum shot from Winter Fire 2017

The chicken wing cum shot from Winter Fire 2017

Sunday we found ourselves hungry and at a nearby pub for some lunch. It’s where this photo was taken. Look at that slut of mine, those juices dripping down her face. She took it all and it dripped down her face. She really does love wings. Reconnecting with Chloe amid all the kink and play and fun was likely the biggest highlight of my weekend. And we did most of that outside dungeons or sex-o-rama or any place else that was deigned as “kinky” space.

After lunch we ended up at the overflow hotel dungeon where we played some games. I made the sound system work (a little) and massaged Chloe, then beat her while we listened to some quality Pandora scene music. We then found our way to a metal massage table with a hole down the middle, so you can get to all the juicy boy bits as they dangle. She used her scarf and my belt to bind me to the table and then she tortured me. It was a beautiful time. Then back to our room where I helped her pack and walked her to the train station.

I demo bottomed for a cock-torture class while Chloe struggled to make her flight on time and was a participant in what was most likely a world record cock and ball tie-up releasing helicopter simultaneous removal! 20 bound up cocks and balls all being helicoptered off at the same time. It was quite a sight! Fun presenters as well.

After all that, I found some reconnect time with the lovely LJ, who was happy to have time with me, as I was happy to have time with her. We spent some time talking about her world and what she’s doing, or trying to do, with her life and place and all these things while I packed up the room for the impending check out at 8 am the next morning. We had a great time both in a hotel room and at the nearby noodle house.

And this was my Winter Fire. I didn’t work for my day job much, I got good manual labor in. I had fun. And most importantly, I relaxed. And outside of the first night, I didn’t really drink all that much – I was startled at the amount of bourbon I brought home this time!

Sometimes, though we love to be kinky as fuck, we just want a weekend hotel getaway away from our lives. Some time to sit on the bed and watch TV without guilt. Time to surf that porn or make some porn of your own. And this is sometimes just what we need and want in our world. This was my time to have that. I had a great time at Winter Fire, even if I wasn’t the kinkiest kinkster to ever kink a kink. But damn, those wings, she’s such a slut for wings.

What does FLR mean to me…

I’ll continue along with answering the question of “What does a FLR mean to me?” It’s one Chloe asked me a few months ago, during a time when we went into some troublesome territory. The answer is not quick, nor easy, nor that concise. So I continue to answer this as I consider it.

One of the things I do in our world is handle our tech. I try to balance our tech life, keep it workable, useful, modern and affordable. Like many, I’ve been seeing and hearing a lot about cell phone providers coming up with new plans and trying to poach other customers to their network. I’ve been watching since Christmas. I’ve also been waiting for Mistress’ “contract” to expire on our plan. Now that we’re both month to month, I looked into the change and hit the stores this weekend. I hit our current provider and one of their competitors. I came back to Chloe with the answers and when she got in from her errands on Saturday, I told her “So, wanna get new phones?” After explaining, we went down, signed the papers, she ordered the phone she wants, which is on its way, but we had to wait for it to ship.

So, I did the research, planned the plan, and organized all of the billing things so that in my world, I’m only about 10% more on my expenses for phone and I included two of the offspring into this plan with better phones.

I will still need to upgrade her phone once it arrives, which is pretty easy. But I’ll make that happen.

So my service for her has been to be aware (constant!), be vigilant to deals (found some!) and suggest changes to how we do all these things. And I think I hit the nail on the head with all of those. This is what she counts on from me. She isn’t a luddite, but she doesn’t want to “worry” about the tech. I’m the one to wrangle all that. And I think I got it right.

Now I just have to have her phone ready, installed, full of her music for her trip upcoming – then I’ll be done with that side of the project. And we should be okay for the next couple years.

The car wash

“I’m going to shower now.”

“But, you’re not clean.”

“No, that’s why I’m going to shower.”

“Wait” he insisted. “You know how when you go to the car wash and they take the sponge or the sprayer and do the mirrors and the back of the car? Just to make sure it gets clean? Because sometimes the machines don’t clean it all properly?”

“Yeah?”

“Well.” pulls her by the sweatshirt into the bedroom. She smiles. She bends quickly. He pulls down her pants and underwear.

He cleans the back end, just to make sure the car wash has an easy and proper job of things.. She thanks him. He helps strip the rest of her clothes, helps her put on the robe, she walks into the bathroom.

Yeah, that completely happened with no exaggerations.

I love Sundays.

Safe work attire

Friday had me heading to work wearing my usual casual attire. Yes, we actually do relax on Friday. That doesn’t mean we go from ties to shorts, but it does usually mean jeans for me. But this week, I had to really check the v-neck shirt I was wearing to make sure the cane marks were covered. They were, barely, but I was aware of the possibility that someone would see.

She had caned my ass, thighs, chest, back and even her cock. I’m not sure what got into her wanting to cause me such pain, but… I’m happy for it. Perhaps it was just the perfect alignment of a roommate saying “I won’t be back tonight… ” and another roommate headed to the graveyard shift… and her telling me after these two people left “You should probably be naked now.” And I was naked. And she took me to the bed room where she had me clean her, then she beat me, used me, fucked me, rode me, then took my deep into her in the “L” position, where we both were afforded very big and beautiful orgasms simultaneously. That’s rare for us. And of course, there was the obligatory cleanup, which I was happy to perform.

But then she warned me to dress carefully Friday morning, as I had welts all over. “I hope you’re not planning to swim this weekend… ” – which is a possibility any weekend I have my kids – because even winter isn’t a reason to NOT swim someplace… but that won’t be happening, obviously. ;)

So, it was a damn good week. Let’s hear it for communicative roommates that leave for the night. For easy access to canes. For well placed lube locations that are always able to help insert something into a willing bottom’s bum. And a beautiful and sexy Mistress to take all these pieces, orchestrate them together and build a symphony of our bodies.

Lucky dog

This morning, I was awakened by the pull of my collar, dragging my head to the edge of the bed. There, my Mistress pushed my head down, under her ass, spread her thighs and enveloped me in her pussy. She wriggled, adjusted and moved until she was confident that she had sealed off all the air from my mouth and nose. I licked tentatively at her pussy, but soon, in a sleepy state of waking to begin with, my brain must have thought it was a dream and I found myself sliding away from pussy licking and into dozing. This was, of course, a mistake, as this “dream” I thought I was having was not a dream, but it was very real. And the oxygen not coming to my brain was also very real. And the relaxation I was feeling in drowsy state soon made me, involuntarily, thrash my head which freed me from my prison for enough time to find oxygen again. Now recovered, she did it again, cutting off my oxygen, smothering me with her pussy and ass, the faint scent of Irish Spring and her essence in my nostrils. “Good boy… ” I heard.

I again licked tentatively and this time, voluntarily gave in. I stopped licking, I relaxed and waited to sleep under her darkness. Again, and this time against my own wishes, my body involuntarily thrashed, rousing me, giving me oxygen and I was fully aware again.

She re-positioned this time, now with her ass closer to my tongue and I felt her pussy pushing. Then I felt the warm trickle as she marked my forehead and eyes. I quickly moved my face to cover her mound and be able to take her piss, but she had finished, just marking me for the morning, a small and concise stream, enough to have her let me know what my place is.

She left her perch upon my face and moved around the bed. Finding my cock rock hard, she took it briefly into her mouth to make it wet, then climbed upon me, taking me deep and riding me hard. I clenched my eyelids, trying to prevent the piss from getting directly into my eyes and enjoyed her riding me. She rode hard for a while and I was able to keep up until she started speaking to me. “Good fuck toy!” and “What a good boy.” Her words, her voice, rose me to a boiling point quickly.

“Close!” I uttered plaintively.

“No, no cumming pup. I bet you’re glad to be unlocked, but it won’t be for long. You’re getting locked back up again soon.” I had been locked for three days this week.

“STOP!” I could hear her smiling as she stopped. She teased me to the edge several more times by slowly riding her cock, then climbed off and I could hear her getting her clothes on. I rose, felt my way across the room, blind, to my towel where I dabbed at my eyes. I then fell to my knees naked in front of her, now partially clothed. I kissed her feet. She reached down and let her finger graze my asshole, pressing gently at it. I kissed her feet more and she spanked me, then moved away from my prostrate form to get the rest of her clothes on. I rose, awakened, eyes open, put on my robe and headed for the coffee pot.

Yes, great morning. Absolutely. Charmed, I am.

Polite

IMG_6105She told me one evening “I think I’m sometimes too polite to you, pup”. I smiled. “It’s hard to let go of good habits like being polite. But I think, since you’re my slave, I should be a little meaner. A little more direct.”

“That’s your prerogative, of course” I replied.

“It is, isn’t it.”

And here I was the previous night thinking “I wonder if she might try being a little meaner in the future.” But I never told her that. Well, not until she reads this post, that is.

“Good.”

She asked me the first morning after I had been locked up. “Did you wake up last night?” It will take several days before I can be in chastity and used to the device being on. Usually I can sleep through the night after a week.

“Yes, twice.”

“Did you kneel?” I often kneel by the side of the bed until the erection within my cage subsides.

“Once.” I had knelt once and once went to the bathroom to pee, as that also will let the erection subside.

“Was it painful?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”  she smiled and ended the conversation.

Anger, frustration, depression

I get anger over work issues. It’s exceptionally frustrating at work sometimes. I work in the non-profit sector. I deal with other people in other companies and I deal with lots of people inside our company. And I have a boss. And he has a boss. I am responsible for scheduling in my department – scheduling that MUST occur. Nobody can be missing. And I get all the excuses, reasons, requests, desires, etc. And then there are reasons why people need me to change staffing. We have X project or Y event and I’m the one that needs to wrangle people. And people are a fucking pain in the ass, often. But I also handle some automation. And it usually works without a hitch. Until the people (you remember the people, right?) start fucking with it… I also have people in other groups poking at things which make my world harder. It’s quite the balance and usually I make it happen and all is well. It has not been all well for a while.

In my family world, things have been shook up. I’ve discovered a long lost relative which presents me with some big questions and possibly some even harder truths that might be at hand. I’m sorry to “vague blog”, but I don’t know if all the detail is necessary. But it makes me feel like some of my family may have been terribly abused and it puts me at odds. I’m angry about it and I’m also showing some depression from it. I’m not getting into a deeper clinical depression, but just a depression that let’s itself be known and puts me in a down mindset. Chloe knows. She knows the reason. And I think she knows that I just have to work through it.

And to be honest, I think that the current political climate in Washington and our new President has put a few shovel fulls of depression into my world. It’s hard for me to grasp some of the things that he and his appointees and the general public are pressing. Completely illogical reasoning on doing some of the things and people just going along with it. The demise of intellectual conversation and the deeper divisions being dug between the sides. The disappearance of science. The degradation of fact. The whitewashing of history. All of this adds to my frustration and feeling of helplessness.

With all this, it’s not an easy place to be for a submissive. I know that it’s affecting our life. I know it’s affecting our interactions. I am thrilled to have Chloe’s love, affection and support, now more than ever. I could retreat into a super full service mode, but then Chloe loses her companion in me. I could withdraw completely from her, but then Chloe loses her service and that adds to my depression. I think she has been dealing with it well. She is giving me space on social activities, letting me spend some time with myself and with an occasional game or just getting away. She’s also doing some little things to remind me of our dynamic. As I write this in the nearby coffee shop, I am wearing the panties she selected for me this morning and left on the bed. The taste of her nether regions was only recently washed away with some Chai and some food, as she woke me to her pussy hovering over my face this morning.

And all this also affects my other relationships. Someone hoping to talk to me about an upcoming event has not been contacted and I’m almost afraid to reach out to the long lost relative because of “what I know” and what they “do not know”. I’m being kind of “Benzite-ian” (Star Trek TNG) in my approach with some of this family stuff, not divulging some things without having all the detail and a possible solution – though I know there may not be a solution – just a lot of information to share. But I want all the information before I share. And it affects my volunteer efforts as well, causing me to procrastinate on them for fear of failure which will only bring about failure. Yeah, not helping myself out.


So, I’m at a loss. No, I’m really not. I’m not at a loss. I’m a little depressed, I’m a bit angry about some stuff and I’m frustrated as hell. I’m not worried about any sexual frustration – as that’s NOT a problem, in fact, sexual activity has also been not in the forefront of my mind either, though I try.

These are all first world problems (except Washington – that can easily affect 2nd and 3rd worlds). I really have nothing proper to complain about. So, I can try to be more positive, get off this train of anger and frustration and kick my own ass out of depression before it goes deeper. It’s not a terrible set of circumstances. I’m terribly fortunate overall and grateful for that.

Let’s see how the weekend goes. I’m optimistic and hopeful. Who knows, maybe Chloe will take me for a walk in the woods to acquire naked January. ;)

Do winners win?

As we waited for our movie last week, we hopped into the abandoned arcade area of the theater. Being a weeknight, there were no gaggles of kids running from claw to shooter to racer to basketball throw. Just two adults standing at the air hockey table.

Finally acquiring the right amount of tokens for the game, Madame and I set out to play. I handily won the first game, each of us our own worst enemy scoring on ourselves. The score was something like 7-5. And the second game, before anyone scored I offered a bet.

“Well, if I win, I get… ” She looked at me. “I get… ”

“I win no matter what, you know, boy”

“Yes, I know… but if I were to win this game… I’d like.” I paused as she scored on me. Down 1 – 0. “I’d like a ruined orgasm”

She never tacitly agreed to the bet and, well, there was nothing on the line for if I lost, but that was okay too. We came to the end of the game and the timer ended with the score 4 – 3 in my favor, but she put the puck in – still – the timer was done – the score didn’t register.


The next morning, we woke, she very happy with the previous night as I had shown her quite a good time. She was, I think, pleasantly surprised with how good the movie was and how much fun we both had. She had me fuck her, used me well, I was able to get into some good fucking without worrying about cumming, though she started whispering things to me which put me so close to the edge. I had to stop a few times. Eventually, she tired of this game and demanded “Off!”

I lay on the bed as we cuddled and she stroked my cock lazily.

“So, tell me about this thing we bet on last night?”

“Ruined orgasm?”

“Yes, that.”

“Well, it’s basically just when you run the boy up to the edge, let his cum dribble out over the edge and it’s kind of like an orgasm, but without all the pleasure for the man. The good part is that, supposedly, you can just do that and he’s ready to go again without worrying about him cumming so soon. It’s supposed to take the edge completely off.”

She soon had me at that edge and let go. I had told her “NO! STOP! STOP STOP STOP” but she kept going, releasing me before I started spilling. It was a full ejaculate measure, for sure, but there was none of the pleasure of a full on orgasm. Okay, that’s not true, there was lots of pleasure, but it was a different pleasure.

My honest critique is that it did not keep me on edge like I expected. My cock wilted after I spilled. That’s not supposed to happen with this. My desire waned a little as well. Now, I’m not saying that it wasn’t a ruined orgasm, it certainly was, but perhaps we need to do one of two things. One, she needs to stop sooner – really let it dribble. Two, she needs to not be so fucking sexy while she’s doing it. It really is a turn on. :)

 

Perhaps ruined orgasms won’t work for me/us. Perhaps when you’re kept in denial so long, even a ruined orgasm wilts the libido a little. I can’t be sure, but I’m more than willing to continue practicing. Any thoughts on how we might make it better?

Flip or flop

There are times, like Tuesday night, where things switch around here in our cozy little bungalow. We went out, had a good time, she was feeling the need for a good strong fuck and I was feeling a need to give her one. And that’s how we ended up with me pounding her heavily while she used the hitachi to add another perspective to her pussy, causing her to have a very deep cum, a little different than most of her other cums. It was a beautiful thing to watch.

I let my side get a little more animal than I could easily recover from. I was growling at her, most literally. Unable to produce coherent words nor provide any cogent reason why she shouldn’t simply smack me into next week, we should a gentler approach to getting me back to her and simply held me close and soothed me with words. She told me to breathe, she had me calm and I really tried to, but the animal would not leave the room.

She ended up taking the bathrobe tie to my mouth, gagging me. then she took my belt, still lying on the floor from us getting undressed, wrapped it around my head a couple times and tied it off to blindfold me. With those senses down, she was able to get me into a much calmer space. She clipped the leash to my collar as well. We soon fell asleep – a good night of food, drink, fucking and switching behind us, where the blindfold eventually fell off and the gag, expertly tied, was pulled from my mouth.

But in the end of it, I knew that my animal was far out of his place, had encroached too far into our FLR and I felt some guilt about it. Gagged, collared, blindfolded, I found myself down at the end of the bed, as far as I could be, down beneath her. I remember lapping at her hands, kissing her ass, rubbing her and trying to sooth her from wanting to do me harm, as I knew that the animal may have pressed too far, or stayed too long. And my submissive side was very much wanting to repair any damage that might have been done.

In the light of day and in hindsight, there was no damage done. Not at all. But it did feel awkward to need to come back to my submissive self and find that things were okay.

I like us in our FLR dynamic. And I like when we switch. But this was an odd time where I felt like I lost control of the animal and she had to bring it back under control. And that might have been more than she wanted to deal with that night.

In the end, it was a good night and a good next morning. I found myself kissing her toes before she left, then proceeding to my own morning routines.