Milestone

The last time I had a full on, full fledged orgasm with ejaculation was on Leap Day this year. That was 183 days ago. On a leap year, that’s half a year. This morning, she teased me again, let me inside her and let me beg to cum, which she completely denied.

We are not very big on counting. We don’t count the orgasms we each have. She doesn’t insist that I know how many days I’m locked up. There are no chastity or orgasm reports here like in other FLRs. Those things are great for those who want that level of detail and that level of control. Madame doesn’t need that, so that’s why we don’t do it. She does have me put all my cumming and chastity times on a calendar we keep (Hooray google apps!) but we don’t total it all up.

We have both enjoyed this game of denial very much. It’s been a great target to work toward. It’s been a great fantasy to talk about it being permanent or even going into “let’s stop talking months and just focus on years”. But…

She likes me cumming. I like me cumming. Sometimes, when we’re switchy, she even (oh, dare I say so in a FLR blog??) enjoys blowjobs that end very happy for me and very happy for her smiling face. She has indicated that we’ll be concluding this period of denial soon. She won’t say exactly when and I don’t want her to, but she is ready for other games where she can control me.

What I do notice is that when one plays games with lengthy periods of time, there comes an acceptance of the situation. It is freeing when this happens. I don’t have to wonder if today is the day because I know that I’m simply going to be denied. A month or so ago when she said “Not until we hit half a year… ” my level of acceptance was reinforced. There was no wondering at all. I knew it wouldn’t be the day. But now that we’re at this milestone, I’m back to that wondering. Will she take her prize tonight? Or after this work week? Wait, we’re going to travel this weekend with kids around. Not this weekend. Next week? Next weekend? In private? Outside? In front of a crowd? If we headed to camp, I would have to imagine she’d make a sign about this and invite people to watch. ;) I imagine she might even make a game of it. “Let’s see how far he can shoot!”

Long term gives way to acceptance. The same can be said with chastity as well. You don’t have to wonder if you’ll be locked when you’ve been locked for a month or two straight. Sure, there might be cleaning, but there certainly won’t be any wanking. You’re simply locked. You accept it as normal – as who you are.

So, I’m not sure when this milestone ends but I’m happy we have played it out this far. I like having reached her goal for me. It feels good to hit such a spot. I’m happy with it. I’ll be happy when I cum too. Sometimes I feel regret over cumming, or guilt, but this time, I’m looking forward to it – to having the teasing end finally and get to experience cumming again.