Locked and Splayed

chastity lock

This is the text I got two minutes ago:

“Does it make you smile knowing that your boy is driving around the state, locked up for you?”

I got this from john, of course. Not that I would mind having another boy or 10 driving around the state locked in a steel chastity chastity device. Hell, I would get off on knowing that every single man out there walked around in a metal tube and lock, but that’s just me. Every time I see another woman walking around with a key dangling from a necklace from her neck, I smile a secret smile…..sometimes outwardly, sometimes privately because I am guessing that often times this is just a fashion statement that has nothing to do with chastity. Maybe…..but maybe not.  A dreamer can dream, right?

But to answer the question (I told him he’d have to wait for this post in order to find out), my reply is Yes, of course. Of course it makes me smile. But I smile at a lot of things regarding us. I do wonder, though…..do you think, pup, that you being locked in chastity becomes old?  Do you fear that one day I won’t smile as brightly?  That your chastity becomes something that is so routine that I stop being aware of it? To answer, it is not anything at all I’d ever tire of.  Ever. I found you last night, splayed out on top of our bed, completely naked, except for the shiny metal upon your cock and wrist. Your smile was splayed too, and the moment I see you, everything about you seems and feels right. I will never in a million years tire of such a thing….at the sight and knowledge of you.

Keuschheitskäfig_zI like the noise of this new cage. It clinks and clangs in a way that is different than the other devices, and I like it. I am guessing that a stranger or coworker would assume the noise has something to do with loose things in your pocket, but I know better. Oh….I know better.

We are in a quiet pattern in our kink. I won’t go as far as to say season, because seasons last months on end. And in Maine, winter is about 6 months long. So, I’ll call it patterns, much like a weather pattern that tends to last weeks and not months. Stormy outside yes, but quiet and peaceful on the inside. I feel a sense of contentment, but know that you crave more. I never, ever forget that you are my kinky, subservient, obedient, service-focused, collared, disciplined, owned, sexy boy. But I do sometimes omit from your diet the daily dose of kink that fortifies you. You are so easy to tend to, and you take such obvious joy and pleasure from chastity and restraint. When you lock yourself up as you do, and I am wearing that key, it’s a  strong bond between us. Another bond we share. I feel this sense of privilege knowing that I hold your key, knowing that you do this for the love of Me, for the love of our dynamic, for the love of the feeling you get. You don’t need a cage on that cock of yours to know and feel that you are owned, but it certainly adds to it.

So, when you ask if it makes me smile, the answer is a resounding, full-bodied, complete and utter Yes. It makes me smile in pleasure. In wickedness. In pride. In joy. In sadism.

In totality.


Getting Ready


Camp. Kinky camp. It’s the annual trip we have been making for 8 or 9 years now, sometimes several times a year. It’s a place where over 1000 like-minded bring their toy bags and assemble their devious minds and play can go all day and all night if you want it to.

It’s the place where clothing is optional, and yet last night as I was packing, I was wondering why I am bringing more clothes than I’ll want or need. It’s the same question I ask myself every year.

So, round one of packing complete. Tonight, as my boy works on his own packing list, I’ll go through and weed out what I don’t truly need and what I don’t truly love.

This year, I am bringing both boys with me. Both will be in service, both will be my divine playthings, and all of us will sleep in one, big mattress pile.

I am so looking forward to exposing toy troy to all of this wonderment. It will be all brand new for him. Naked people walking happily. Sunbathers soaking it all in. Rope. Fire. Chastity. Costumes. Crosses and cages. I know not to do too much, too soon. Exposure and dabbling with be enough. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling giddy about it. I’m feeling really giddy about it!

John is working hard. Getting ready for camp is no easy feat. He does the bulk of the organizing and packing. He is the muscle and brain behind it all. The puppet on the end of my string. And with 106 days of chastity under his belt (pun totally intended), there is a cooped up energy that can’t be missed.

Our world is just like anyone elses. Busy, scheduled, frazzled at times. Juggling work, kids, home, money, chores, friends, activities. But then we get something like this…..this camp trip….and we realize how lucky we are. We get to do the things that most only wonder about, and I am forever grateful for that.


I have not decided about his release from his denial yet. I am not sure if I will allow him to have a cum. The start of camp will bring us to 114 days. And there are lots of benefits to that, but some challenges too. I like my fuckings. But I also love the energy that comes from him not cumming, even if it means less fucking. I’ll have to see. I simply have not decided yet.

It’s been a while since I have posted. Too long. I love that john has been picking up the slack, I appreciate him for that….very much so. I think sometimes that I don’t have anything incredible to blog about, but then I realize how lucky we are to get to do the things we do.  That’s pretty incredible.

Just the fact that I found both of these lovely men on Craigslist is amazing. What are the odds?? We have daily moments of extraordinary exchanges between us. Power exchanges. Female driven, and female lead. Some days are better than others. Some days are insanely perfect.  My confidence can vary, my energy can ebb and flow. But daily, no matter what, this is the way I want it…..the dynamic that feels exactly right to me. After all, we live in Maine… the land of “The Way Life Should Be”. Our life just happens to include collars and cages.


Travel time

I like watching the TSA guy look at the screen and shake his head. I’m amused to no end. Was it the steelheart? Other things in the bag? Who knows. A pretty benign pack this time. But something made them shake their head. At least I didn’t try and hide a thing. I thought for sure they’d ask to see my razor, as it’s a double edge safety and my reading online tells me to expect a search 50% of the time, as they look for the blades, which I don’t have.

Am traveling. And yes, I packed the Steelheart and am going to get locked up in a couple minutes, once I’ve finished with my pre-flight lubrication. By which I mean beer. Madame didn’t request my lockup, but it seems like a good thing to do. I’ll be away from her, in sin city, and will have some measure of time on my hands – which I’m filling with some extracurricular activities.

Tomorrow, we hope for pics of this dog around Lake Mead. Am going to try and make naked April happen with a dip in the water. I’ve heard that rangers are not favorable to this behavior, but all one has to do is go where most people do not go. I believe that leaves many square miles of space. So, Hoover Dam? Valley of Fire? Lake Mead? I’m coming for you! Don’t give up on that 80 degree prediction tomorrow, I’m very happy to take advantage of that. I even bought some TSA approved sunscreen! And a hat that Madame won’t mind if I lose on the journey. I did NOT, however, spring the extra $ for the convertible rental car. That was just too much. And when I looked, all the convertibles had been rented, so I’d have had to rent from ANOTHER location. Not willing.


So, let’s see if I can find a power outlet in JFK for my layover. I hear Casey Neistat is traveling today, maybe I can run into him in JFK.

Is that a naked man over there?

Is that a naked man over there?


So, I always like to be nekkid at least once a month out of doors. I haven’t even made that work each month in 2016, but I _DID_ make it happen, barely, in January. And here’s proof!

This was on our return home from a weekend of….. something I can’t recall. But we were in NH and driving back home when this lovely little driveway appeared. Turns out there’s a paintball field here, but nobody playing in the winter, so I doffed the kilt and the shirts and fleece and Chloe took some lovely photos of me while amid the snow covered ground. Boots don’t come off in the cold, that’s how the nekkid works in winter. ;) At the end of the photo shoot, she caned me, which always hurts more in the cold. So I got back into the car a little shivery, not just from the cold but from the caning as well. She gave me a few minutes to collect myself and then blast the heat in the car and we were all good to continue our drive back home. I think we missed the February outdoor nekkid, but I have some March outdoor nekkid.

One of those "This looks like an interesting driveway" moments. Ending up with our January Nekkid photo shot.

One of those “This looks like an interesting driveway” moments. Ending up with our January Nekkid photo shot.




Don’t fault me…

Come on, it’s Easter Sunday. You can’t fault me if, after a wonderful rubdown on me, than one by me, then a little food, some lovely music and the beautiful sunlight streaming through that window onto my naked body… you can’t fault me for wanting to stay



and fall asleep on the couch


But I won’t. But I’ll enjoy it for 7 more minutes before I get up.

Waving and welcoming




I like the two chains; one for each boy.

Well, my pup has hit the road late last night. South he goes, headed to the winter kink event that packs thousands of people in one big hotel for a long weekend. He is driving about 10 hours south of Maine and yet the weather is supposed to be frigid. He works the weekend (ok, volunteers is a more accurate word). I don’t envy him when it is this cold. I know what it is like. For many years, we have done and worked this event together, but not this time. My job gets in the way this year, so he goes as our representative. I will miss him and miss all the kinky delights that I know will take place. But, I am working on my delights, so there is definitely that to look forward to.

John will play as both top and bottom, and I like that he will get to do both. The lovely southern area ‘Lady” will help look after him for Me, and he will spend part of the weekend in perfect service to Her. I like hearing the stories when he serves her. I think she holds him to a very high standard, which I like. And she can be a bit of a sadist. Which I love.

My boy is going with a bit of a new look. Normally, I would consider him a very well manicured man. Right now, he is still that way, with a bit of “Sons of Anarchy” thrown in. I will be curious to learn if his looks influence his play in any way. I grin thinking about it.

I was a little verklempt  seeing him packing up all the toys, though. I would have loved to have gone with him, bringing with us my toy troy (yes, he officially has a name). I think it would have blown troy’s mind to be there, in a good way. I had fantasies about that. I am hoping that troy can accompany us for the summer event we will be going to.

Speaking of troy, I am spending our first significant chunk of time with him this coming week. He opted not to go away on a guys weekend this weekend, so I get V-day with one of the two boys, and that is very nice.  I am not a big Hallmark holiday kind of person, but still, it will nice to not spend it alone. At least the ‘breakfast in bed’ part. :-)

I am really, really looking forward to this time with him. It will include training, yes. I want him to know what I like, how I like it, etc. But I also want hang out time with him. Exploring time with him. I want to continue to learn about his body and his mind. I want to groom him in this service that I love. And I really like the idea of being at his place. I know he will be most comfortable there, and I want that for him. I think he will feel more confident this way, and that will work nicely as I perhaps put him through a few paces that make him nervous. In the best of ways, of course.

Saturday has me going to the Fetish Flea with a vanilla girlfriend who knows all about our lives, all about what we enjoy. I am most excited for this! She is an absolute treasure of a friend, and I know she will love the experience, if not for the shoes and shopping alone! Troy is providing a lovely service for us. I asked him to create a road trip cooler for us, as the last time I went to his event, it took nearly 3 hours at the hotel bar to get a simple burger. This year, I am being smarter and from what troy tells me, he is doing a fabulous job of creating something simple and elegant for us….just the way I like it.

So, that’s the update for now. Lots going on despite the cold and dark that keeps most indoors. Time for me to go pack up a few things I will need for the days I am with troy. I’ll start with all things leather and steel first……


Not…. quite…

We’ve been entertaining/housing an adult child of Madame’s for somewhere past a month. The recent snowpocalypse that hit the east coast (but not us) delayed her departure until this morning. Finally, all things packed, errands for her to run in town, she departed, hugs and kisses all around and her boyfriend heir apparent, also departed.

Madame and I shared a nice lengthy kiss. Her mostly dressed for work, I still in the bathrobe and making breakfast at the stove.

“We can get back naked time for you… ” she said.

I smiled and laughed and said “Well, let’s just wait until tonight, perhaps.”

As I went back into the kitchen with my empty breakfast plate, who appears? Yep, the previously fled daughter, back for her sunglasses, which she didn’t find. Or perhaps she was back to see just how long it would take her mother and the mother’s boyfriend to get back to doing the nasty on the dining room table with a newly found empty house.

And I was happy that I thought better about throwing off the robe and just cooking naked. This was certainly a big save. Of course, tonight, I know there’s no chance of the daughter returning and Madame can check on the location of her phone to ensure she’s SOMEWHERE that’s not our state. So that will give us some assurance.

Here’s to further naked!

Oops, almost forgot

For a brief and beautiful moment, I was her slave outside the house.

We went through our morning, got dressed for the “Oh shit, last weekend before Christmas!” dealing and we proceeded out the door.

I had warmed up the car, then gathered our things and we got into the car, I reversed out into the road and I put it into a forward gear and laughed. I stopped the car on the side of the road and laughed and looked at Chloe. “For a moment, I forgot…”

“What?” She said, not noticing or understanding.

“It was just so normal, so… natural.” I smiled… the corners of my smile letting loose just a little as the reality hit. My hands left the steering wheel and gear shift and moved to my neck. She smiled when she noticed what I was doing. I reached to my neck and unfastened the collar. So comfortable, natural and normal it was to be collared.

It’s been a good month or two living alone together (outside of visits, of course) where I’ve been naked a lot (woohoo!) and I’ve been collared even more. Heck, I’ve even made the trash  run (door to can in the front yard) naked more than once while it’s dark.

Collar on the mirror

My collar hangs from the mirror of the car

But now one of her adult offspring has arrived back for about a month, so the naked ends. And half the collar time ends too, as I’ll just be wearing it while Chloe and I are in bed together. But it was a very wonderful beautiful run while it lasted. I’ll miss it until it comes back in January.

But until then, I have a great big smile to remember on the day that I forgot to take it off.


I’ve been finding it interesting how attractive it’s become to simply squat. And more often than not, the attraction is when I’m squatting unfettered by pants. Squatting in underwear can be pretty comfy, a kilt is great and naked is best.

I squat now when I start my shower, getting the water set at the right temperature, as our shower valve is a bit of a gamble on any morning. I squat when I’m in the shower in order to clean the bits below the waist. I squat to find my clothes for the day, as Madame has the upper shelves of the closet and I have the lower. And sometimes when out and about in the kilt, I’ll find a spot to pee and squat to do so; this works whether I’m regimental or not, which is handy. Naturally, there are times when I’m servicing Mistress where squatting seems to be the proper way to get the right height or angle on the action being performed.

It’s different than kneeling. Kneeling is more static and in some ways easier. Squatting requires constant adjustment of balance. When engaged in more coupled activities, balance can be half the battle. It also completely exposes my genitals, they hang when squatting like no other position. Kneeling, they’ll rest against my thighs. Standing, the same. But squatting, there they are, just dangling, exposed. Indeed, it’s very freeing – letting them simply hang on their own, that rarely happens in any other way. Continue reading

Bath House


What a whirlwind of a weekend! A wonderful, action packed, adventurous weekend in New York City.

I was very very fortunate to be on the receiving end of an amazing weekend that included exclusive tickets to two amazing events. Our weekend was filled with town cars, private drivers, the finest of food, $500.00 bar bills for the cocktails we had before dinner…..stuff that is so far out of my league on any kind of regular basis. My vanilla  roommate and I (female) were invited by friends of my brothers to join them for a city weekend, and we did. Once there, we didn’t pay for a thing, we didn’t have to do anything but go along for the ride and accept whatever elaborate cocktail that was placed in our hands.

I mentioned earlier that it was a weekend of twirling. We went to Madison Sq Garden to see the Dead and Company. I have seen the Grateful Dead probably close to 80 times since 1983 so this was very much up my alley. If anyone is interested to know, John Mayer killed it with the Dead. Amazing. I was blown away by the energy he brought to the band, and the show they produced.

But back to the stuff I was talking about…..

After the show, four of us found our town car, and piled in. But 3 of the men we were with parted company with us and headed to a sort of bath house. Not the kind of bath house you can simply google and make a reservation, but the kind you have to know someone who knows someone in order to get the secret address. These three men had outfitted themselves nicely for the Halloween show, including professional make up jobs (one was the “joker”, the cosmetics were spot-on). They headed to the bath house in order to be ‘rejuvenated and restored’. What did that mean, I asked? My host proceeded to tell me.

It means you walk in the door of such an establishment, and you enter a whole new world. Beautiful women (you pick how many) descend upon you, and they pamper you from head to toe. They will bathe every inch of your body. They will massage every inch of your body. These petite women will walk naked on your back, digging their toes into the achy parts of your muscles. They will give you a haircut, they will give you a hot shave, they will spot clean and press your clothing. They will suck each others tits if that is what you want. They will suck your tits if that is what you want, and I am certain that is only the start.  You leave when you are ready. You leave with having received what you want to receive. You spent as many hours as you want in extraordinary luxury.

My host told us that he had considered bringing all of us to this bath house. The establishment is not male exclusive (which made me like it all the more!). He told me that he had thought it could be a nice treat for us to experience after nearly 5 straight hours of dancing at the Garden. I wish he had. At this point, we were 30 minutes from the city, but my mind was back in that bathhouse.

I know places like that exist. But they aren’t normally on my radar. I live in Maine. We simply don’t have places like that that I know of. And if we do, I am certain they are not of the caliber of NYC.

My mind wandered, inspired by the images I was creating. I have spent much time since them, coming up with a fantasy about a bath house that has an equal number of female to male clientele. I would have my boy work in an exclusive bath house. Oh, if I could only get him to do an internship at such a place! I smile knowing that such opportunities probably don’t exist. I have had a thousand images of my pet rummaging through my mind….working hard, massaging, rubbing, pampering his clients, providing whatever service they desire.

I was not at a bath house this past weekend, but I was indeed pampered and attended to by a host of lovely, good men. We were fawned over. They made sure we lacked nothing. I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was real. And I loved how my mind wandered.

And, I loved most knowing I was returning home to more of such pampering. I have my very own bath house attendant. He will massage me naked whenever I command. He will pamper any part of my body I tell him to pamper. He will place any cocktail I desire before me. He will serve it to me wearing my collar, on his knees if that is what I wish.

I love him. He loves me. You can’t buy that kind of service at a bathhouse.

How lucky am I…….

Tomorrow I will talk about the search for an additional submissive and how it’s going. I have a lot of emails to sift through, which is great, but this is about quality, not quantity. Stay tuned.