I don’t feel it obligatory, but the end of a year in our human world is very much a terminus and a rebirth. It does offer an excellent opportunity to reflect and look back but even more so – look forward.
I look forward to the next year with hopeful promise. While Madame’s world is not where she wants it to be right now, the adjustments in her world have allowed she and I to grow closer. She was planning to take an undetermined length sabbatical from New England and pursue a passion. That would have separated us for an indeterminate length of time, except for visits. Instead, changes within her family dynamic caused her to postpone those plans and focus more on staying here and tending to some family issues. It’s all been mostly good for her, but it has been a strain. Some of the strains were further compounded, which put her under heavier pressure. It’s really been a heck of a year for her and not in way she had planned.
My year has been good. Work has had its moments of great joy and of great pain-in-the-ass-ness. I do love my job, but damn it doesn’t my company sometimes make some really weird decisions. While I wield great power within my realm at the office, I am not given THAT much power outside my small realm and there’s no hope of advancement so long as the same people remain there above me. So, I continue to keep my head down, do my job excellently and pursue more challenges at the office to improving the finite systems I am in charge of. It works; mostly. I did interview for another position somewhere, but that was mostly a practice interview and I learned a lot from it. It pointed to some of my deficiencies should I want to step up the ladder, even if that ladder is in some other company.
My life with my kids is good, though they’re teenagers and that adds its own challenges. I maintain that I’ll stay geographically close to them until they graduate high school and those dates are well defined and while I thought they were far off – they’re barreling straight toward me.
I also wrangled the failure of a car and a computer, which were very stressful financially and I was without a car for 21 days – in summer. It was worse than being denied orgasm for 21 days! And even now, I’m working on financially paying back the failures of those two things, which will feel good once it’s done. (February?)
So, now, back to the blog. You know, the one where I talk about Female Led Relationships and kinky things? Yeah…
Madame and I have grown closer as a FLR couple. I feel her confidence in my abilities has been underscored by the recent problems in our world. When she had to drop everything for a family member, I maintained the household and got her the things she needed. When Christmas came to town, I wrangled the decor, a good deal of shopping and I planned a great weekend of food, drink, family and friends. I pulled off epic meals that everyone was pleased with and wonderful drinks to help enhance the meals.
Food, wine, liquor, beer and kids drinks were all available and nobody wanted for anything. It was great. She had left all the details up to me and I ran with it. I think she was rather pleased. I also was able to assemble a group of friends and family to pitch in on a gift for her that none of us could afford alone, but will help propel her into her next world where she can take that sabbatical and pursue that dream. I did most of that right under her nose as well and she was surprised I had pulled it off.
Though my world has had its troubles and problems, I know that all my problems are first world problems and are ones that I can surmount and survive. And even Madame’s problems were turned into service opportunities for me. In a way, her problems have allowed me to present to her a better service animal, one that can deal with my own shit and deal with hers too. And I know that this has been a point of contention between the two of us before. I have learned more about how to serve her better and still be able to let her know when and how I would like my needs met. While it’s simple and easy to think that a submissive just might want to “get off” as what they’re looking for, she and I both know that this is not the case for me. She knows that as a reward, I’d rather have her sit on my face, or have her pull my face deep into her as I clean her. A reward is sleeping in bed with her holding the leash to my collar. A reward would be having her put me into bondage for bed some night and leave me on the floor. We realized long ago that my rewards are given more in her words, touches and caresses (and caning and spankings and…) than just in letting me have a cum. In fact, one of my favorite rewards is when she gets me close and whispers in that oh so sexy voice of hers “Do you want to cum? Do you?” and I’ll beg to let me cum – but she simply replies “No” and stops. And smiles at me.
So, I look back and I see that I was granted many service opportunities. And I excelled at many of them. For that, I am happy. I believe Mistress is happy too. I also see that some goals I set for myself previously have been fulfilled, including financial goals and that makes me happy. I see challenges ahead for the both of us and I see much opportunity as well. I see a chance to continue to deepen my service to her. I see opportunities to write more in the blog and provide people a better read and better content, not just on the salacious details of what’s going on (though I’ll keep that up if you like, just let me know!) but on the ideas that are going through my head as I serve and learn. I have challenges in interacting with my kids and seeing about getting them more future proofed. I see challenges for helping our country in the next 4 years too, as we’re going to need some. And challenges in my volunteer efforts as well.
I look forward to the challenges ahead and I look back to try and learn from the failures and “not quite failures” of the past and make things better for the future. I mean, that’s kind of what we’re supposed to do, right?
And for those who have read and commented and interacted with us on the blog, I want to say thank you. While our stats remain small compared with many other sites out there, I do know that some of the folks reading it are happy to and enjoy the posts. And I’ll keep it up. It’s a good outlet and I do enjoy the interactions with the readers. Thank you for reading. I hope you stick with us.
Happy New Year to all, I hope it brings you good challenges that propel you to being a better you, whatever that may mean. I’ll be out serving the public in my car tonight but I’ll raise a glass with you all tomorrow at brunch. Cheers!