Wheee, Christmas time, sort of

So, we’ve all been so busy with Christmas preparation and all, but today it looks like I’m actually off from work for Christmas Eve (hoping that cow-orkers don’t make errors that call me in… ) and home puttering and dealing while Madame is off at HER job, wrapping up her week.

This morning Madame was very generous in her using me as I woke from my slumber, but there was a slight problem. See, I got a little too excited and on one of her slight downstrokes, I was pushed clean over the edge and soon found my cock pulsing, spilling, deep inside her. And this was completely unplanned. My submissive person, pup, still feels horrible about it. Madame is still pissed off and rightfully so. My face is still sore from her smacking me, deservedly so.

Our more personal selves, our Chloe and John, are okay with each other, but John still is upset. It’s a frustration that when I haven’t come in some time, I’ll spill like that, not on purpose, but accidental, and I get frustrated with it. I won’t let it get the best of me, however, and will go through the week end with as much joy as I can. But having that edge taken off is… well… frustrating. Nonetheless, Chloe and I will have a wonderful Christmas together.

According to Chloe, a big beautiful orgasm was going to be my Christmas present in the morning, but I’m unsure where she will go with that now, given that the wrapping paper has all been pulled off that gift.


Sometimes, it feels exactly like this. I am set up, I am ready, I run toward the goal and whoosh! The ball is gone!

Charlie Brown and Lucy

Charlie Brown and Lucy

Of course, I’m talking about her denial of me. Last night after our time with T, she headed out to another meetup (vanilla), then came back and after a little bit of TV, we found ourselves in the tangled web of the beast with two backs. She was very enthused with her fucking, taking me in quickly and really enjoying it from the get go. Usually she takes more time to warm up. But last night, she was raring to go (no doubt the two naked men in the kitchen and the spanking helped!). Soon enough I felt her grabbing at me from within, her body shaking, her cries of orgasm freely floating through the air and occasionally her admonition to “press, press” – meaning I should just press my cock into her so her pussy can grab at it. Her orgasm stimulated my own, pushing me from a very aroused state up toward orgasm very quickly. I begged her. I beseeched her. I was almost crying in my desire and she very tersely and cruelly said “No. I’m DONE!” and she rolled over onto her left side, dislodging me from within her soaking wet pussy and leaving me struggling, so close to cumming. I whimpered, as a dog might do, for the treat that was so close. But she had made her decision. In no uncertain terms, she was denying me. She teased me a little with the idea of “There might have been a chance to cum with me, but that’s past. I’m done with you, fucktoy.” And yet, even with that measure of humiliation I still imagined her saying “If you’re that horny, you can lick my ass.” but even that didn’t come – just the admonition to stop humping at her and to relax.

Relax? How could I relax? We just had another man in the house, both of us naked and making dinner. She spanked another man while I did the dishes and I knew, without a doubt, that the moment that HE got the chance he was whipping it out and jerking off. I’m so entirely sure of it. She had left him with no orders for abstention, so I’m sure he took full advantage. And yet, here I was, giving her great pleasure and having served so well… and I am denied. And I was jealous. Absolutely. I knew I was jealous.

Pulsing cock

Pulsing cock is teased

And I know it was exactly what I want. And yet it wasn’t. I really DID want to cum. I could feel it. I could imagine it. I could taste it. And yet she left me without that release. And I thank her for it. And yet I would have so loved to cum too. Damned dichotomy of wanting exactly what I’m getting!

And this morning, there was more teasing as well. She climbed into bed with me and found a hard cock. This was not unusual, since I was stroking the cock while I was dozing in bed before getting up. She had good timing. And yet, she just teased me more. About a half dozen times to the edge and then some pain to wake me up instead of leaving me drowsy.

And here’s the biggest part of the post, I think. She really does enjoy it. She actually honestly enjoys taking her pleasure and then denying me. She enjoys rolling over after she cums and going to bed. She enjoys feeling my throbbing cock up against her thighs and ass, even maybe some dripping on her flesh. And I’m sure she’s smiling her way to sleep. And she’s becoming sadistic about it too, very much so. She does it not just to take her own pleasure, but to torture me.

I am one frustrated and dripping dog. She knows how to quickly build up the pressure again. And she knows how much I love it at the same time I dread it. And she just keeps doing it. I love her, that sadistic, beautiful torturing bitch that she is. ;)


As I’ve written before, I’ve practiced how to achieve orgasm without ejaculation and have had some success, but not enough practice has been done. Still, twice in the past week, I’ve been able to experience at least one really good orgasm and one tentative and gentle orgasm just through Madame’s squeezing of my cock and balls, mostly the balls. Other stimuli was there as well, but it was a great thing to experience. I’ve also been able to provide her with two wonderful orgasms over the past week while inside her and managed not to cum inside her… so there’s some major happy happening on both sides of the bed.

It’s like having perfect sex

“Perfect sex.”

Madame and I were in the confines of the comfy bed beneath the sea of blankets and I was rubbing her back, pressing into her back with stiff fingers and she said “no, don’t stop. It’s like having perfect sex”

Perfect gift

This led to the dog inquiring to the Mistress what she thought perfect sex was. The big takeaway from her was that perfect sex is variable based on her mood, attitude, etc. I agree. Perfect sex for my dominant side if  far different than me in my submissive side. There’s also a difference between perfect sex with my primary partner (Chloe) and any other partner I might have. So, at its essence, asking what is “perfect sex” is completely conditional.

I suppose this is not unlike the question of “What is quality” and if we were to go completely Robert Pirsig on this, we’d get in pretty deep, pretty quick. It’s completely subjective.

Given my position at the time the question came up, submissive and well within her influence as my dominant partner, my perfect sex was something to the effect of…

Being completely capable and able to fuck her as hard and as deeply as she wants, without having to stop because I get too close to orgasm. My perfect ideal of this starts with us in a missionary position and moves to us in our very luxurious and, I think, favorite position of ours, her laying back, me almost perpendicular to her on my side and our legs intertwined (I’ve searched for this and can’t find an image to share) where she can touch herself and make herself cum while I fuck her. She has a beautiful cum after she uses me and then she rolls over, I spoon her, I touch her breast and she falls asleep.

This is simply one version of what “perfect” might be. And it’s certainly a version where me as the submissive would feel things being perfect. Providing my Mistress a beautiful orgasm while she uses me as her toy, which I am, and she concludes the interaction. I have served my purpose, served my Mistress and that… that’s some measure of perfection to me.

Plateau, plateau everywhere!

For some time, I have been pursuing the oft elusive but highly desirable multi-orgasmic, non-ejaculating orgasm. I’ve had times in the past where I rode the crest of an orgasm lasting minutes. There has also been a time when, while performing oral sex, I’ve had an orgasm without ejaculating. Let’s just define this now that ‘orgasm’ means an orgasm without my ejaculating. ‘Ejaculating’ will mean a nice big spurty mess of goo.

Nothing but plateau as far as the eyes can see.

Nothing but plateau as far as the eyes can see.

Unfortunately, I haven’t studied and practiced enough to be able to do it all the time. Fortunately, I haven’t studied and practiced enough to be able to do it all the time. Let me explain.  Continue reading