Cum and go

 

IMG_6548

Dogs. Their behavior.

Unpredictable at times, it seems.

Nothing is wrong, nothing has happened other than life happening. But that said, I have noticed something of a shift today. Or maybe it was last night, and I didn’t notice. But something is different. I have my suspicions, I’ll write about them here, and maybe my dog will read this post and it will generate a conversation. Okay if it does, okay if it doesn’t. Either way, it won’t really change how I am feeling right now.

My dog had a big, beautiful cum Saturday night. He wasn’t supposed to do that, but he did. And really…..he didn’t even get in trouble for it because it was that big, and it was that beautiful.

We played Saturday night. At the event. The picture in this post is from that scene. I liked the web-like device I had him crawl into as I beat him. He liked that web-like device heĀ  was made to crawl into. It is a simple piece, but I love the way it looks. I caned him good and hard while he lay entangled. It was pretty hot… so much so that he had an orgasm without ejaculation while being caned. I love when that happens… it’s truly an amazing thing.

From that room, with the web bed, we moved to another room. In this room were no fewer than 26 queen sized mattresses. They filled the entire space of that room…..wall to wall mattresses. Some were stacked 4 mattresses deep, others two deep. It was a Minecraft of mattresses, all covered in clean, white sheets. The point of this room is that couples can enter the space and occupy a stacked pile and have a sense of separateness from the other piles….the other coupled couples.

I chose our pile, and we started to slowly sink into one another. We didn’t fuck, we didn’t rape or beat. We made sweet, penetrating love. I think what turned us on was a myriad of things. The earlier beating. The naked time in a group setting. The collar. The kink that surrounded us. All of it, really. But I do know for me that I got pretty turned on by knowing we were in room with 3 other couples who were sharing their own versions of intimacy. I could hear the love making all around me, but because of the different heights of stacked mattresses, I could not really see what was going on around me. If I looked (and I did), I could see a stockinged leg or an arching foot, but that was really about all.

My boy and I were really into one another in that moment. It was sweet and tender and it was driven by our hunger for one another. I used my boy and had a big cum as he pushed deeply inside me. My cumming pushed him over the edge. As my orgasm intensified, it grab at him… squeezing, pulling, clutching. It was more than he could bear and he could hold on no longer. He spilled. He spilled a lot. He spilled the contents of 45 days of not spilling. His cum was like my cum… hard, hungry, happy. We lay gathered in one another and smiled. There would be no punishment for this, because it was perfect and I was happy and that was all that needed to matter.

I don’t know if it is biology or psychology but damn… I have come to my conclusion: Every time my boy has an ejaculation, things are different for at least a week. There seems to be something about his deep and gathering hunger when he is denied cumming for prolonged amounts of time that make him become more compliant. More submissive. More slave-like. More proper. More… I dunno… more everything. It is as though that once he has that biological release, he has a psychological one too. I can’t say that I like it all that much. It can be confusing. Unpredictable. I can’t say that I am a big fan of this. I like him to be consistent. I already cornered the market on inconsistency; that ship sailed some time ago. I should know – I am the Captain of it, after all.

So, here we are… in a quiet moment, in a quiet month. It was an excellent weekend, it really was. No complaints, but rather observations. Last night had me feeling withdrawn. He seemed a bit snippy. Short. As though he forgot his manners. I pull and prod at him all the time to keep his mind and mouth open because he has the propensity to get too quiet sometimes. We are living proof that opposites attract, and his quiet overall as a personality type is something I have become used to. So, when the quiet gets quieter, it pushes me beyond my comfort zone. Not too far from it, but enough so that I withdraw a bit and wait for his balls to start to fill again. Because when his balls become full, his mind steadies and his submission rises. That is what I am used to, that is what he aspires to. It’s just weird to be right next to someone and to feel like they are miles away.

I shrug. This too shall pass.

Whoops I did it again

Last night, Madame came home late, I was already in bed, but I soon sprang out of bed and helped her undress, kissed her feet as I removed her pants and panties, and followed her to the bedside where she snuggled into the pillows I had already laid out for her. She does love that body pillow, particularly when I’m not in bed with her. Last night, she curled up to that, exposing her back to me while she lay on her right side. At the bed side, I offered up worship of her body with my tongue, then added both my hands to her body and caressed her all over while I cleaned her, then continued to caress her from her neck to shoulder, back, bottom, thighs and calves. She directed me toward her feet, which I also rubbed and kissed lightly for her. A few licks might have escaped as well, but she didn’t seem to mind.

“Is all this attention to make up for your statement earlier?”

“Partly Ma’am, but not completely.” I had made comments relating to the status of our relationship with far too much humor and not enough forethought, which I realize were inappropriate. Sometimes my “comfortable humor” gets too uncomfortable for other folks – this was one of those times.

I continued rubbing her and while we talked, she tossed the end of the leash to me, which I clipped onto her collar, already around my neck. I rubbed, we chatted. I realized my error and she wasn’t very upset, but it’s something I’ll need to watch in the future. Unfortunately, one can’t say “Oh, I’m her slave… ” when someone mistakenly addresses you as “husband”, so you have to say something else.

Soon she pulled on the leash and directed me to join her in bed, as previous I was simply kneeling in the small space between the wall and the bed. It’s one of those spaces so small that to turn around while kneeling takes some significant effort, as you cannot simply turn, but you must get up, turn, then back down again.

I joined her in bed, continued rubbing her body and we talked. I mentioned a story I had read earlier that evening on the HerPiggy tumblr which really roused the prurient interest in me and I gave her an ever brief synopsis of the story. It really was arousing and I admitted to her of my jerking off to the story while I read it. I rubbed her as I talked, she lay there asking some small questions to clarify the story line for herself, and did not touch me at all.

We settled in a little more. She moved from up on her left side to a more prone position on the bed, which frees up her left hand. She grasped at my balls and I moved to get into just that right spot where we fit perfectly together. There were some other points of conversation, not related to the story, but soon we were both close to sleep and yet I was still highly aroused. I mentioned this to her. “Ma’am?”

“Yes, pup?”

“I think I could have an orgasm right now. May I?”

“Yes, pup” she replied, with a smile in her voice and a squeeze of my balls. And that squeeze was all it took. A couple deep breaths and I was soon pushing myself into a very strong orgasm. I grabbed Mistresses pillow with my right hand, though most of it was under her and my own pillow in my left and my body shook from head to toe. I buried my face into my own pillow as the feelings grew more intense and I cried out. I willed myself to end the orgasm, as I knew I could have kept going for far longer. I felt her squeezing my balls as I came down, acknowledging my pleasure with her own hand.

“Thank you, Ma’am.”

“You’re welcome, pup.”

“That was a strong one.”

“Indeed pup. Good job on not hurting me.”

“Yes Ma’am. I’ve tried to remain aware, even when I’m losing my mind.” (I’ve sometimes squeezed her a little too hard while in the throes of orgasm)

I pet her back, her bottom, her shoulders. She squeezed my balls one last time and I heard the tell tales breathing that told me she was asleep. I pet her longer, let her fall deeper into her slumber and then turned my head into my own pillow as I let myself wander into that same place.

Milestone

The last time I had a full on, full fledged orgasm with ejaculation was on Leap Day this year. That was 183 days ago. On a leap year, that’s half a year. This morning, she teased me again, let me inside her and let me beg to cum, which she completely denied.

We are not very big on counting. We don’t count the orgasms we each have. She doesn’t insist that I know how many days I’m locked up. There are no chastity or orgasm reports here like in other FLRs. Those things are great for those who want that level of detail and that level of control. Madame doesn’t need that, so that’s why we don’t do it. She does have me put all my cumming and chastity times on a calendar we keep (Hooray google apps!) but we don’t total it all up.

We have both enjoyed this game of denial very much. It’s been a great target to work toward. It’s been a great fantasy to talk about it being permanent or even going into “let’s stop talking months and just focus on years”. But…

She likes me cumming. I like me cumming. Sometimes, when we’re switchy, she even (oh, dare I say so in a FLR blog??) enjoys blowjobs that end very happy for me and very happy for her smiling face. She has indicated that we’ll be concluding this period of denial soon. She won’t say exactly when and I don’t want her to, but she is ready for other games where she can control me.

What I do notice is that when one plays games with lengthy periods of time, there comes an acceptance of the situation. It is freeing when this happens. I don’t have to wonder if today is the day because I know that I’m simply going to be denied. A month or so ago when she said “Not until we hit half a year… ” my level of acceptance was reinforced. There was no wondering at all. I knew it wouldn’t be the day. But now that we’re at this milestone, I’m back to that wondering. Will she take her prize tonight? Or after this work week? Wait, we’re going to travel this weekend with kids around. Not this weekend. Next week? Next weekend? In private? Outside? In front of a crowd? If we headed to camp, I would have to imagine she’d make a sign about this and invite people to watch. ;) I imagine she might even make a game of it. “Let’s see how far he can shoot!”

Long term gives way to acceptance. The same can be said with chastity as well. You don’t have to wonder if you’ll be locked when you’ve been locked for a month or two straight. Sure, there might be cleaning, but there certainly won’t be any wanking. You’re simply locked. You accept it as normal – as who you are.

So, I’m not sure when this milestone ends but I’m happy we have played it out this far. I like having reached her goal for me. It feels good to hit such a spot. I’m happy with it. I’ll be happy when I cum too. Sometimes I feel regret over cumming, or guilt, but this time, I’m looking forward to it – to having the teasing end finally and get to experience cumming again.

AAUGH!!!

Sometimes, it feels exactly like this. I am set up, I am ready, I run toward the goal and whoosh! The ball is gone!

Charlie Brown and Lucy

Charlie Brown and Lucy

Of course, I’m talking about her denial of me. Last night after our time with T, she headed out to another meetup (vanilla), then came back and after a little bit of TV, we found ourselves in the tangled web of the beast with two backs. She was very enthused with her fucking, taking me in quickly and really enjoying it from the get go. Usually she takes more time to warm up. But last night, she was raring to go (no doubt the two naked men in the kitchen and the spanking helped!). Soon enough I felt her grabbing at me from within, her body shaking, her cries of orgasm freely floating through the air and occasionally her admonition to “press, press” – meaning I should just press my cock into her so her pussy can grab at it. Her orgasm stimulated my own, pushing me from a very aroused state up toward orgasm very quickly. I begged her. I beseeched her. I was almost crying in my desire and she very tersely and cruelly said “No. I’m DONE!” and she rolled over onto her left side, dislodging me from within her soaking wet pussy and leaving me struggling, so close to cumming. I whimpered, as a dog might do, for the treat that was so close. But she had made her decision. In no uncertain terms, she was denying me. She teased me a little with the idea of “There might have been a chance to cum with me, but that’s past. I’m done with you, fucktoy.” And yet, even with that measure of humiliation I still imagined her saying “If you’re that horny, you can lick my ass.” but even that didn’t come – just the admonition to stop humping at her and to relax.

Relax? How could I relax? We just had another man in the house, both of us naked and making dinner. She spanked another man while I did the dishes and I knew, without a doubt, that the moment that HE got the chance he was whipping it out and jerking off. I’m so entirely sure of it. She had left him with no orders for abstention, so I’m sure he took full advantage. And yet, here I was, giving her great pleasure and having served so well… and I am denied. And I was jealous. Absolutely. I knew I was jealous.

Pulsing cock

Pulsing cock is teased

And I know it was exactly what I want. And yet it wasn’t. I really DID want to cum. I could feel it. I could imagine it. I could taste it. And yet she left me without that release. And I thank her for it. And yet I would have so loved to cum too. Damned dichotomy of wanting exactly what I’m getting!

And this morning, there was more teasing as well. She climbed into bed with me and found a hard cock. This was not unusual, since I was stroking the cock while I was dozing in bed before getting up. She had good timing. And yet, she just teased me more. About a half dozen times to the edge and then some pain to wake me up instead of leaving me drowsy.

And here’s the biggest part of the post, I think. She really does enjoy it. She actually honestly enjoys taking her pleasure and then denying me. She enjoys rolling over after she cums and going to bed. She enjoys feeling my throbbing cock up against her thighs and ass, even maybe some dripping on her flesh. And I’m sure she’s smiling her way to sleep. And she’s becoming sadistic about it too, very much so. She does it not just to take her own pleasure, but to torture me.

I am one frustrated and dripping dog. She knows how to quickly build up the pressure again. And she knows how much I love it at the same time I dread it. And she just keeps doing it. I love her, that sadistic, beautiful torturing bitch that she is. ;)

While I am away…..

My dearest pup,

By the time this entry gets posted, I will be gone. I will be far away, where the weather is warm, the sun is abundant, and the drinks are cold. I will miss you. I am happy to be spending this time with my young adult son (and another mom and her son), but I will miss you.

One thing I do remember from the only time I went on a cruise was that the service was spectacular. I have no doubt that my mind will be filled with thoughts of you as I am surrounded by so much service. But the service I get from you is the service I love the most, and I am expecting that to continue while I am away.

I am outlining here, in this post, exactly what I am expecting of you while I am gone. You and the work you do while I am gone will be inspected, graded, judged and evaluated. You will be treated accordingly to those findings. I expect you to excel in all that you do. You are a good boy, exemplary at the service you provide me. I do not expect this to change in my absence.

While I am gone, that beautiful cock of mine will be locked in its cage. It will remain locked until next Thursday. It will not be unlocked before then, unless a medical emergency demands it (but lets avoid any of those, shall we??).

You will wear your collar each and every night of sleep. You sleep better with it anyway, pet.

You will do chores and provide things while I am gone. In no particular order, you will complete the following:

I expect to come home to a clean set of sheets on the bed, including all pillow cases.

You will have gotten yourself a haircut. You know my requirements…..it needs to be long enough in the back that I can grab a handful of it if I want to. But get a good haircut. A littler shorter is ok this time as it will compliment your emerging winter beard.

You will remain well groomed. I want your facial hair to get extra attention as the ‘growing in’ phase can be a bit scruffy looking. Take extra care, and it will look better. I will be inspecting you.

Keep my11409837736_f29144b949_z cock and balls cleanly shaven. I like the sound that is generated when my bare hand slaps those parts.

You will wear a butt plug while you are getting your hair cut. You chose the size, but you will wear one.

You will wear a butt plug while you are spending a short amount of time in the basement. Only a few weeks ago, I spent a good deal of time down there, making the laundry area nice, sweeping, making it better. That work has been undone due to the removal of the tank. I want it fixed. I want the floor swept. You will wear a bandanna on your face when you do this. I want it decluttered. It should not take you long, and perhaps the wearing of your plug will motivate you.

Please find an appliance repair person to fix the dryer. Do your best, pup.

I have tasked you with backing up my computer, cleaning it up a bit, getting stuff on the hard drive. Thank you for this, pup. I know you are good at such things.

Finally, you will be gone on a play date when I return from my trip. I normally would not allow this on the day of my return, but the person you are going to see for a night is very much a part of our intimate circle, and in particular, your intimate, select circle. I would like to think that all of the things I am requiring will serve Her as well. Be a good boy for that visit; take your beatings well, provide superior service and make me proud. You are generally very good at this.

But before that Thursday trip, make sure there are the basic staples in place for my return home. Things for coffee, some fruit, cheese, hummus, the basic things I like to have on hand. Chilled white wine. You know better than anyone what I like. Make sure it is in place, pup.

I do not believe I have over tasked you, pet. I want you to have down time too. I hope you enjoy some time to yourself. I will miss you very much, but I will be most happy to return to you.

And when I do return, I begin the process of meeting the few from my ISO list, and we shall see how that goes. You know what this will mean for you, yes, my lovely??

Begin your ass training, pet, as you shall need it.

I love you more than words can say. Until soon, pup….

xoxoxox

Mme.

 

Use caution

Use caution, explosion risk

Use caution

In an interesting experiment, I thought I’d report here on the (non-scientific) results.

Just because you can make a man orgasm without ejaculating, does not necessarily mean he won’t return to fucking after that orgasm and not be ready to instantly blow his load.

This is the lesson learned this morning. See, she was very wet and horny this morning and, well, I’m a dog and am almost always horny. So she used me. She teased me. She finally got me to the point where I could give her some fucking, but then she started whispering to me. Damn it, woman, don’t you remember what happens when you do that?

Eventually, she tired of my not being able to really fuck her hard (else I’d explode!) and I lay back on the bed. And then I felt it. Oh there was that squeeze, that contraction in my body. And I knew what it was. And I accepted it, I wanted it and I breathed at her “squeeze me, please” and she squeezed my cock. “My balls, hard, please” I managed to utter. Her other hand grabbed my balls and she squeezed the hell out of them. I writhed under her, not from the pain, but from the orgasm that was jolting my body. It’s weird when it happens, but I was able to make it happen, pull that orgasm right out of my body and let it flow. It wasn’t the best orgasm ever, but it certainly WAS an orgasm.

So, well, being the dog I am, I suggested “Maybe after that, I can fuck you harder now.” And she invited me to try. And I failed. Oh boy, did I fail. I didn’t cum, but I still couldn’t fuck her. Five or six strokes into her beautifully wet pussy and I was back again at the edge of ejaculation and she was smiling up at me with one of those “Damn it, boy” grins on her face.

I don’t like that I can’t fuck her the way she wants and deserves, but I also know now that she really does enjoy watching me struggle against cumming inside her. Her cruel side takes great pleasure in watching my struggles. And I know that, if she really did want to be fucked, she’d summon that other side of me that really can fuck her until she begs to stop. But in the meantime, we’ll continue on, for science, in learning what limits can be pushed, what should be pushed and what shouldn’t. And I’m a willing lab rat in the series of experiments. Because, well, for science, after all!

 

On denial

There are as many ways to enjoy tease, denial and chastity as there are people who enjoy practicing it. Some just want to be teased for a few minutes before they cum. Some want to be teased a denied and never expect to cum ever again. Some want to have their cock locked up for no more than an hour or three, maybe a work shift, and some want rivets used in their chastity device. Even padlocks with hidden keys are not enough for them. I can understand that mindset. I don’t practice it, but I understand it.

A key nestled in a home spot

A key nestled in a home spot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I enjoy that Chloe can tell people that she keeps me locked. I’m kind of an exhibitionist chastity fan. I also have the fantasy that Chloe wears the key around her neck and she’s asked by someone what it’s for. And she tells them. She’s 100% honest and tells the person “It’s for my cock and balls. Isn’t that right, pup?” she asks as her hand grazes the front of my pants and I nod, blush and mutter “Yes, Ma’am”. Or if I’m not with her, she has a conversation with this person about the key and what it is for… all referencing that I am elsewhere, locked and not able to get into any trouble either by myself or with someone else. “Oh he can masturbate, but not without supervision. And he’s not allowed to cum, of course. Not without lots of begging and teasing.” This is a very strong thread that pervades chastity fiction and fantasy. Continue reading