Left a hole

It seems that, in my absence from my house and my world, I’ve left a hole. Madame wrote an email this morning that told me how I am missed, how there is a hole where I should be. My subtle ways of serving my vanilla friends, the things I do, they are missed by our large family of friends that is around us.

As we are polite kinky friends, I don’t go around serving my roommates on my hands and knees while collared. But I do wear my shackle 24/7, which is my common collar. I am always the first to rise from the table and start clearing and I usually wrangle most of the dishes, even if I cook I’ll try to clean up until my roommates push me (literally) out of the kitchen. I’m the head bartender in the house, despite one roommate having opened a restaurant/bar and another being a lead bartender with a catering company. And I try to do my part in service to the house to straighten, clean, organize and keep my things to as low a footprint as I can.

I do the things that Madame asks me to, in vanilla ways, in and out of the house. I also am in service to my community with my volunteering. One of those former colleagues of my early service life recently posted a picture of a fortune he received in his cookie to Facebook. It read “If a true sense of value is to be yours, it must come through service”. I didn’t reply to that directly, but I did think of it as very befitting. The only more befitting fortune I have ever received was “You will attend a party where strange customs prevail” shortly before my first kinky party. But the service fortune really lays it out for me. Service is where I am comfortable. I enjoy service. I enjoy serving my friends, family, community and Mistress in so many different ways. I do hope that my community service will pick up a bit this year – that I’ll see some of the fruit of my labors. And even my professional life is found in non-profit companies. When I’ve not been working in non-profit, I worked in higher education and in “Internet Service Providers” back when the internet was newer. Service was our middle name! There have been some brief stints in corporate world, where I tracked my time down to the minute, but that did not suit me. It may have suited my employers, but not me. And I left that world not even looking over my shoulder.

Even in kink, I serve. Sure, I get a comp when I work at setting up and tearing down our camp event, so I’m not entirely volunteering, but I do love the service I do there, especially since I get to do that service sparsely clothed or even in some cases naked!

Service is within me. It’s part of who I am and what makes me whole. It’s good for me to realize that, even if I’m in my mid-forties by now and it’s taken that long for me to realize such a thing. (Okay, I knew it a while ago, but ignored it in pursuit of money)

And knowing that my service and my presence is missed is flattering. It really is. I’m happy in some ways for it, to feel missed. I’m happy Madame wrote me about it, more than just so I can write another post here, but so that I can know that I’m valuable to more than just my Mistress. It’s heartening to know that there are others who desire my presence, because sometimes it really doesn’t feel that way.

Madame, I’ll be home soon. You’ll see me soon. Promise! I miss you and our entire family.